#I couldn't make any more jokes or anything to intrigue... If you decide to read it; sincerely: I'm gonna kiss ya

[oblique-lane]

Who are you, ugly face?

A scene from my fic...

[thefiery-phoenix]

Read recently your post about yandere Jichang (why did he have to die 😭) so can you also do yandere Jihan Kwak ?

Sure :) And I know, I get down in the dumps every time I think about Jichang's death, WHY is the world so cruel? 😭

YANDERE KWAK JI-HAN (JIHAN KWAK) HEADCANONS

I simp for him too lol and god DAMN...I'll die from a nosebleed at some point because of how good looking so many of the Lookism characters look and cue my unholy screeching and psychotic giggling

You were visiting your grandparents for the summer vacation as you got down the bus and you sighed as you shouldered your backpack. You were too used to city life, you weren't sure how you'd fare in a quiet countryside but you did have to admit it looked peaceful. You pulled out your phone from your pocket to contact your grandparents when you realized the universe was playing a colossal joke on you since your phone battery was dead you grumbled under your breath. It's been a while since you'd visited your grandparents so you couldn't remember how their house looked like so you decided to ask someone along the way, hoping they'd know the location to their house. You were unaware of a certain pair of calculating eyes watching your every movement, surveying your features till you were approached by a guy who looked almost similar to your age and had a friendly polite smile on his face. "You seem to be lost there sweetheart...anything I can help you with?" he asked you politely as you smiled and explained your situation to him. The guy introduced himself as Jihan Kwak as the two of you headed to your grandparents house

As he kept talking to you, he couldn't help but feel more...attracted and drawn to you. You were a city dweller and yet you weren't so obnoxious and loud or had an ego complex, you had a genuine and nice personality. He kept looking at you from the corner of his eye, his cheeks heating slightly every time he saw you smile and talk about something you liked like your favorite book or your favorite movie and such, mentally noting down whatever you were telling him for future purposes when he'd meet you next time. Of course he'd be meeting you next time, and plenty more times after your first encounter, you've managed to make him intrigued and charmed him with your personality, you remind him of a fragile little doll to be honest, his savior and protector complex would get activated whenever he sees you, you're just too adorable for him, he can't take you seriously sometimes. He wonders how you've managed to survive this long but not to worry, he's here for you now

He'll pop by your grandparent's house every day and he'll have a good impression on them to get more closer to you. He usually wasn't someone who really gave love that much of a thought before he met you, he loved how soft your hands were, how kind and caring you were to those around you, how adorable you looked whenever you had that gleam of passion in your eyes when you spoke about things, how mesmerizing your eyes are and how he feels like he's getting lost in the beauty of your eyes... he loves everything about you. He isn't delusional, he knows his feelings for you are going out of control and he tries to suppress them only for something more darker, sinister and twisted to emerge as a form of love for you

He's aware his feelings for you are unnatural but he just can't help it. He just can't seem to get enough of you. He won't spill his heart out to yet since he doesn't want you to think he's weird but at the same time he doesn't have any qualms of being clingy to you and stalking you wherever you go. You're new to the countryside, you probably wouldn't be aware of the dangers but you don't need to worry, he's there for you to protect you and keep you safe. Of course, it kind of goes without saying, since he's also the brother of Jichang who's an officer, the people around would gladly keep an eye out for you to make sure you don't get yourself into any kind of trouble

His brothers would eventually find out about his immense feelings of love for you after Jichang catches his brother stalking you in the night as he simply glared at his brother which made it a bit awkward for a few seconds till they went back home and Jichang, Jibeom and Jihan sat down for a family discussion where he'll eventually be forced to spill his guts and heart regarding his feelings for you. Of course, they'd be happy for him and they don't really see anything wrong with how twisted his concept of love had become for you and Jichang would do whatever research necessary to find out more information regarding you by pulling a few strings here and there and would get rid of someone posing a threat to yours and Jihan's relationship. He wants his little brother to be happy after all, law be damned, plus they're eager to welcome you into their fold

Jihan likes being affectionate with you, deep down he's slightly insecure you might find someone else better than him which makes him even more clingier to you than usual till he starts developing the fear and paranoia of you leaving him. One day when you told him you'd be going back to your parents house since the summer vacation was over, he just looked at you in complete shock. For a moment he forgot you were on summer vacation and you were just visiting, he'll swallow the bitter lump forming in his throat as he wishes you all the very best and would invite you over for his house for dinner to which you'd agree. Then he'll formulate a plan to ensure you'd stay with him since he just can't afford to lose you, you mean so much to him. He'd feel empty without you and there needs to be someone by your side to take care of you, he's more than willing to be that man for you

Jichang would assist him in procuring some sedative to make you fall asleep after you've finished consuming the food which would make you black out in less than five seconds. Deep down Jihan feels slightly guilty he's slipping sedatives in your food but his fear of losing you overrides his sense of rationality which would compel him to slip the sedatives in your dish while telling himself that it's for your own good and he can't lose you. You're all smiles as you greet his brothers and they're really impressed with your courteous behavior and politeness. Jibeom would nudge Jihan in the chest and smirk at him and whisper what a good choice his brother made as Jihan grows slightly flustered and drinks some water. After you've finished eating your food, before you're about to bade them farewell, you lost your consciousness and you ended up blacking out in Jihan's arms as he carried you to a room and placed a blanket over you and caressed your head lovingly. You woke up after a few hours when the sedatives finally wore off as you looked around, confused as to what was going on when you were supposed to be at your grandparents house, packing for going back to your parent's house in 2 days

Jihan will enter the room and hand you a glass of water as he explains what he did and you'd stare at him in shock. He'd be hurt if you scream or insult him but he understands, he understands how you feel. It's a new concept for you and you can have all the time in the world to adjust, he doesn't mind. If you cry, he'll feel really bad and he feels an ache in his heart from seeing you cry as tears are streaming down your face. He wanted to ensure your happiness all the time, he didn't like seeing you sad so he'd just hold you in a comforting embrace and pat your head gently, telling you how much you mean to him. He isn't unreasonable, he knows you might be mad at him but deep down he'll be hurt and have the expression of a kicked puppy if you ignore him. Nonetheless he'll never raise his voice or hands at you, he can't bring himself to hurt you. That thought wouldn't occur to him even in his worst nightmare. With the kindness and love he's treating you with, you'll end up getting Stockholm Syndrome faster than Zack always screaming for Mira

You actually might have a shot at escaping from him since he does tend to take you out on dates outside to make sure you don't die from boredom from being at home all the time but if you do end up escaping, it'll be Jichang who'll find you and just bring you back to Jihan. Jihan would be worried about you and check you for injuries and then he'd tell you in a very serious tone how he'd never let you attempt something like this again since he loves you too much so now you'll have to earn his trust back before you're allowed to go out. If it's someone trying to take you from him then it's a completely different story. He might be kind and loving to you but his personality is like a snake, cunning and crafty as he analyzes how to get rid of the pest to meddle in between the both of you. Don't forget about his fighting skills, he's learnt from the very best himself and will not hesitate to snap the person's bones like a twig if he has to for your sake and the person would disappear off the face of the planet the next day who may or may not be buried 6 feet under the ground or probably fed to the wild dogs they have, but you don't need to stress your pretty head about that. Just leave all the violence and brutal things to him all right?

His love for you has no bounds which is mixed with possessiveness. Don't even try resisting his affection for you, he'll just hold you tighter to him and cuddle with you. He loves seeing you cooking, having a cute little apron on your frame as he envelopes you into a hug from the back and he kisses the nape of your neck and nuzzles your cheek with his. He truly does love you, just make him happy by being with him please, he'd be crushed if he loses you. Overall, a great yandere to have and he'd seriously be a blessing to have compared to the other messed up characters...

[moodymisty]

Not the same anon but you remember that Death with cold and cynical s/o after the Well of Souls thing? I'm kinda intrigued about how that works, so can I request a oneshot for that?

Btw, after reading that entire thing, it sounds a bit like "Just Look My Way" from Helluva Boss.

Author's Note: Hello! I had a bit of trouble with this one, but I hope you still enjoy it :3 I'm trying to get the last few of the SFW requests done since the NSFW ones are becoming so long XD I'm proud of them, but they tend to take longer and get drawn out.

Relationships: Death/Gn!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1374

Death wouldn't consider himself unfamiliar with the feeling of death, as joking as it might sound to himself.

However the Well of Souls however had felt, different. It feels like no time has passed at all, like a blink of an eye; Though he can tell by the leaves on the trees and the structures around the Tri-Forge than more than a fair bit of time has passed.

A part of him had considered not even making this stop. His 'death' at the Well of Souls could serve as a perfect severing point between him and the Makers realm. He could just add it to the list of places he's traveled through and throw it behind him.

But he just couldn't do it. Against his better judgement, he just needs to make sure.

He'd never said goodbye to you, never told you where he was going; He'd just left you at the Tri-Forge, and had trusted in the Makers to keep you safe. He's sure they've done a fine job of that, in his absence. As much as he might've complained, he can't think of many at all that he trusts as much.

Death dismisses Despair and walks into the Tri-Forge, and within moments he can feel as if something is off.

He's quite familiar with feeling unwelcome in any place unfortunate enough to have him present, but even this is a bit... intense.

The Makers on first glance can't contain their surprise at seeing the Reaper again, before it quickly sours. Death wonders how long he's really been gone; He imagines not much longer than a season, if the weather is anything to go by. It had been quite warm the last time he'd been here, and now the Makers realm is quite a bit colder.

He continues forward, and it's not longer after he passes the outer forges that he crosses the old warrior he remembers from the beginning of that long journey that led him to the Well of Souls.

Valus gives him one cold look; For once the reaper might've preferred seeing Alya.

"You have quite the pair to come back around here again after what you did."

Death lets out a quiet scoff. He knows what the Maker is referring to, but decides to beat around it. Why he can't hazard a guess, it slips from his lips behind the mask before he has a chance to really stop it.

"After what? Attempting to save War? I believe you all helped me in that endeavor, last I remember."

Valus crosses his arms across the expanse of his chest, and nods in the direction deeper into the forge.

"You have a lot to work on, Reaper. You might be able to talk like that to me, but you ain't gonna do that with them."

So you're still here. That fills him with more relief than he'd ever dare utter out loud. He doesn't know why he even thought you would be gone- the Human realm is still off limits, as well as a crumbling wreckage.

Valus, as much as it seems to physically hurt the Maker, directs him in your direction before not giving the reaper much more than a scornful parting glare. Death takes it in stride- it isn't the first time- and keeps moving until he finds you.

But he can't contain the raising of his posture when he sees you, your back turned to him. You don't seem to know he's here as of yet, occupied with something else.

He notices in your lap is Dust; He'd put the bird in charge of keeping an eye on you shortly before he had 'died'. He'll give the bird a piece of carrion for sticking though with it. Though he isn't very much surprised, as the bird had taken a liking to you quite quickly. It helps that you were more than eager to snuggle and give the bird scritches, unlike himself.

You tenderly scratch the bird on the back of the neck and earn an appreciative warble, before the crow notices him and abruptly begins to squawk, jumping on your thigh and flapping his wings. You look down at him and pinch his beak for a moment, trying to distract the bird.

"Quiet Dust, geez." The bird fluffs up and continues to caterwaul, until his old master finally speaks up.

"I don't appreciate you yelling at me, bird."

He notices your body tense up and raise suddenly, and you look over your left and see him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. The crow lowers his tone and still warbles deep in his throat, but stops the flapping and alarm bells.

And then your face drops back to neutral, and you turn away.

Dust hops gently on your thigh and looks up at you, taking a chunk of your clothing in his beak and attempting to pull at it. He gets gently brushed to stop doing it, and settles back into a fluffy black loaf.

Death takes the hit to his pride a bit harder than perhaps he should have, considering his attempts to feign nonchalance for anything other than your fragile mortality. He had expecting you to have that brightness to your eyes and jump up and run to him, like you'd had the myriad of times he'd left you for even the shortest while. He'd thought it was annoying, but now he finds himself almost craving it as your back faces him. He misses the happiness, the energy. It's like it's all evaporated from you now.

This is what Valus was referring to, it seems.

"Quite the greeting," He says, gesturing with his hand for his crow to finally return to his master. His duty is done after all, he did what Death asked of him.

Dust distinctly hesitates for a moment, before eventually giving in and flying back to rest on the top of Harvester. Meanwhile you turn around and give him a venomous look, crossing your arms.

"You gave so little of a shit about me you couldn't even say goodbye, Death." You just shrug your shoulders and turn away, like you can even tolerate the look of his mask. "Now that you picked up your bird, you can leave. I'm sure you have somewhere much more important to be. I'll be fine with the Makers." "Though I doubt that was ever a concern for you."

He supposes that you aren't wrong to think that. He never did tell you more than what he absolutely had to. In that moment, and the many times he'd neglected to tell you things beforehand, he thought he was doing the best thing. And keeping his feelings at arms length.

Keeping yours at arms length too; He could tell you were getting more and more attached to him, and that he needed to keep it from happening before you ended up too entrenched in something that would only end up getting you killed.

But he hates the way that your admittance to thinking he doesn't care about you hurts.

He does care; Far too much, if Death had any say in it.

He gives far too much of a care for someone as old and dejected as him. One of the first things that came to his mind when he left the Well of Souls was you.

He supposes this was bound to happen. Everyone eventually comes to hate him, in the end. It's his lot in life.

Though this one hurts far worse, and he finds himself wishing to fix it far more than any of the others. To make matters worse, his crow hefts himself off of his scythe and returns to you, as you get up and move to walk away.

As you pass he raises his hand ever so slightly to grab your arm and stop you- he doesn't even know what he'd say to you if he did- but drops it. You don't notice, and keep walking away right past him.

Death supposes he deserves this.

But while he finds himself unsure on what to do, he knows he has to do something. He isn't going to let you go like all of the others that have wandered through his life. He just doesn't know where to start.

[fangirls-fanfiction]

Not me forgetting to post this lmao

Chapter Twelve

***TW Refernces to wine and drinking alcohol but no one gets drunk***

Also this chapter might seem a bit all over the place but I promise it'll make sense later on in the story. Or maybe not idk I'm not a very good writer I just do it for fun lol

Story below undercut:

"What... What did you just say...?" The Devil whispered, her voice breaking as she backed away from their hug.

"I— I'm sorry, Boss, It... It just kinda came out... I... I didn't..." Queen Dice, bit her lip to stop while she was ahead.

The Devil's ear twitched as as tilted her head, blinking those golden eyes. Making her look more like an intrigued cat than the ruler of the underworld.

And God, was she cute.

She truthfully hadn't meant to admit her feelings right then, she'd just been so in the moment that she'd forgotten that she hadn't even figured out if her feelings were mutual. At the moment, the Devil was wearing her neutral expression, being very hard to read. Dice just couldn't figure out if she was upset or at the very least happy.

Not to mention how long the Devil had just been standing there, staring. The silence dragged on, the demon still just wearing that same expression.

And it panicked Dice.

"Sorry, Boss... I didn't..." She backed away, feeling for the doorknob behind her. "Just... Forget I said anything."

Finally getting the door open, she barely missed the slight change to her Boss' expression.

Closing the door behind her, Dice covered her mouth.

"Why did I do that? Why did I say that?"

♣️ ♣️ ♣️

She was told to just forget— The problem was she couldn't.

How could Dice just say that to her? And then just take it back? With no reason at all?

Was it some type of trick? Some stupid game? One of her jokes, albeit a much more sick and twisted one? Did she have any idea how she'd gotten the Devil's hopes up?

She had more questions than answers, and Dice hadn't been back around very much since the whole ordeal. So now she was avoiding her Boss? What kind of an idiot would avoid talking something out with someone?

Oh right.

But it still enraged her! How Dice could just walk all over the Devil like she was the one in charge.

The Devil crossed her arms, slouching in her throne.

"Boss! Boss!" Henchwoman skipped in, bouncing in place. "'Roll the Dice' is 'bout to start, do ya wanna listen to it with me?"

With how angry she was with Dice— Not to mention she'd do that thing where she'd stare off into space when she heard Dice singing— The last thing she wanted was to even hear Dice's voice.

"No thank you."

"Gotcha, Boss!" Henchwoman nodded, hurrying bs k down the hallway.

At the very least, Dice was doing her job.

Henchwoman back tracked a bit, seeing just how tense and angry the Devil was.

"Boss?"

"What?"

"You ok?"

"'Am I ok?' 'Am I ok?!'"

"D'uhm... That's what I asked you... Yes...?"

"DO I LOOK 'OK' TO YOU?!" The Devil erupted.

"Would you like a warm bath or somethin'?"

"DO I LOOK LIKE I— "

Wait, that actually sounded nice.

"With... With a glass of wine?"

"If that's what you want, Boss."

"Then yes, Henchwoman, that sounds nice."

"Of course, Boss. I'll get it ready for you." Henchwoman walked off again. "I'll come by when it's ready, ma'am."

"Thank you, Henchwoman." She leaned her head on her hand.

She could really use a bit of a stress reliever, especially with how much was already on her mind.

Yes, a bath was just what the Devil needed to calm her nearly over boiling temper. She definitely appreciated the wine as well, and even decided to give herself a treat and use a mud mask finished with some cucumbers to help exfoliate her beautiful skin. She sure did love to pamper herself.

Leaning back in her bathtub, she let out a blissful sigh. No need to worry about souls. No need to worry about Dice. No worries whatsoever.

That is, until the Queen of Hell was interrupted by someone tapping her shoulder.

"WHAT?!" She sat up in her bath, taking the cucumbers off her eyes.

"D'uhm... Phone call for ya, Boss?"

"Ugh, this had better be important." She placed the cucumbers back over get eyes before she snatched the phone from her loyal companion.

"It's your Number One callin!"

'Queen Dice! It's Queen Dice! Wait— Ok, ok, act cool.'

"Who?"

"Uh... Queen Dice? Your Number One?"

"Dice, I'm very busy," She leaned back in her bath again. "What do you want?"

"Well, I just found someone you might be interested in~"

"Mmhmm."

"Someone you've been after?"

"Dice."

"Right, right, you don't like riddles— It's that girl, what's her name? Cup... Something...?"

The Demon sat up, the cucumbers falling off her face.

"Head?"

"Excuse me?"

"Cuphead! Is that her name?! Do you actually have her?"

"Oh— Oh yes! Just sit back, relax and I'll deliver her soul directly to you."

"Awwwe Dicey!" She twirled the phone cord around her finger. "This is why you're my Number One~"

'Be cool, be cool.'

"Oh, and Number One?"

"Yessss?"

"I hate disappointment."

The Devil hung up before Dice could get in another word. Finally, that rotten brat would finally get her comeuppance. No one tricks the Devil and gets away with it.

Though there was a little bump in their relationship, it was reassuring to know that Queen Dice was still willing and eager to do whatever her Boss wanted.

From how it had been so far; this day couldn't get much better. A nice bath and finally getting her hands on that brat's soul. The only thing that could make this better was a tray of cheese and another glass of wine.

"HENCHWOMAN!" The Devil called for her companion, washing the mud mask off her face. "A TRAY OF CHEESE AND THAT EXPENSIVE WINE, PLEASE!"

"Expensive wine? You mean the stuff you stole from France on your last birthday?"

"No, the one I stole from Italy!"

"Oh, gotcha Boss!"

She had 100% faith in Dice to keep her promise, she was amazing at what she did. She kept her promise and never failed to have a single loss on her game show. With one less stray soul to worry about, the Devil could get back to business. This was perfect.

Other than the fact that what Dice had said still lingered in the back of her mind. But that wasn't important, she was told just to forget about it and that's what she was going to do.

If only she could figure out how.

♥️ ♥️ ♥️

"Oh Henchwoman~" The Devil walked into the room her companion was dusting in while listening to her radio show. "How is it going?"

"The show just ended."

"And...?" The Queen of Hell drummed her fingers on her wine glass, still half full.

"Miss Queen Dice had her first loss." Henchwoman continued dusting.

"... What?"

"Yeah, it sure is a shame. All well, I'm sure she'll do great the next episode!"

"Henchwoman?"

"Yes, Boss?" The imp turned to face her.

"Be a dear and go fetch Dice for me, will you?"

"Of course, Boss! I'll be right back." Henchwoman sat the feather duster on the bookshelf she'd been dusting and went off into the throne room.

As Henchwoman left the room, the Devil's smile vanished, replaced by a rather surly frown as she held the wine glass tightly. Marching out to her throne room, her boiling temper seemed to have returned quickly.

How could Dice just fail her like this? She knew how much of a nuisance that spoiled brat was and yet she'd let her Boss down.

The Devil definitely noticed that Dice had been rather distracted lately. From what, she hadn't the foggiest idea. Well... Actually she did have an idea, but she was told to just forget about it. That probably wasn't it anyway, she was told to forget about it. Either way, she had no idea that it would take a toll like this on her work.

And Old Scratch wasn't going to put up with it.

Maybe she was thinking too harshly. Maybe she was just overreacting. Maybe the whole 'forget I said anything' was getting on her nerves—

Even so, Dice made a promise, and her Boss wasn't exactly expecting she'd break it this late in the game.

And how she'd been toying with the demon's feelings and just told her to just forget about it!

But she wasn't angry about that, it was just about the game show. Obviously.

The demon noticed her grip tightening on the win glass in her hand, on the verge of breaking its stem off. Finishing off her drink, she sat it aside— The last thing she needed was to break one of her wine glasses, these were crystal!

She directed her attention to the sound of the Hellevator clanking upon arriving back in Hell. She sat down in her throne, prepared to give Dice a piece of her mind.

[artificialqueens]

Perfect Blend (Of Coffee) (Anetra x Sasha) - Ageofcolby

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this fic so I hope you'll enjoy reading this <3 If you loved it or has anything to say, please leave a comment or a feedback! You can also find this fic on AO3! 

Summary: One night, Anetra was sitting in her kitchen, staring out the window, when she noticed something strange. Her neighbor was also awake, making coffee in her kitchen. Anetra was intrigued. She had never seen anyone else awake at this time of the night. She watched as her neighbor moved around her kitchen, gracefully preparing her coffee. Anetra couldn't take her eyes off her neighbor, who seemed almost like a goddess.

——————

Anetra was never one for big changes. She was comfortable with her life as it was. So when her roommate Marcia announced that she was moving out to pursue her dream job in another state, Anetra was left feeling unsure of what to do. She had never lived alone before and the thought of it made her uneasy.

  Sometimes, life can make us do things that are uncomfortable. Anetra found a really nice apartment and decided to buy it, even though it made her a little nervous. The apartment was very pretty, with lots of natural light and an amazing view of the city. Despite being perfect in almost every way, Anetra struggled with one issue - she found it difficult to sleep properly in her new home.

  Anetra was sitting in her kitchen one night, looking out of the window, when she noticed something unusual. Her neighbor was also awake, making coffee in her kitchen. Anetra was interested because she had never seen anyone else up at that time of night. She watched as her neighbor moved around her kitchen, getting her coffee ready. Anetra couldn't stop looking at her neighbor, who seemed almost like a goddess.

  The next night, Anetra was awake again at 3 am. She decided to go to her kitchen and make herself some coffee. While she was getting her coffee ready, she saw that her neighbor was also awake, doing the same thing. This time, Anetra decided to introduce herself. She wrote a note with her name and number on it and stuck it to her window hoping that her neighbor would see it and reply.

  Anetra checked her phone for the next few minutes but not one reply came to her notifications. Seems like her neighbor hasn't seen the note yet.

  Disappointed, Anetra went back to her bed and fell asleep. It was the first time she went back to bed to sleep without having any problems. The next morning, she woke up to the sound of her phone buzzing. She checked her messages and to her surprise, her neighbor Sasha had responded to her note! Anetra was thrilled.

  "Hi there! I'm Sasha! I couldn't help but notice that we both seem to be up at this time of the night making coffee. Our flats are opposite each other, and your kitchen window faces my kitchen, so we always see each other making coffee at 3 am. I thought I'd say hello."

  "Nice to meet you. I was starting to think I was the only one awake at this time of the night." Anetra replied back with a smile on her face. She couldn't believe that her neighbor had finally noticed her. 

  Over the next few days, Anetra and Sasha started chatting more and more. They would exchange little jokes and talk about their favorite coffee flavors. Anetra found herself looking forward to their late-night coffee breaks more and more every day.

As they continued to hang out, Anetra and Sasha discovered that they had a lot in common. They both enjoyed the peace and quiet of the night and found that their creative juices flowed best during those hours. They would often stay up late, chatting and working on their own projects, occasionally taking breaks to enjoy a cup of coffee together.

  Anetra loved these late-night meetings with Sasha. It was a special time for them to unwind, share their thoughts and ideas, and simply enjoy each other's company. As time went on, they grew closer and closer, and Anetra felt grateful to have found such a wonderful friend in her neighborhood.

  One night, as they sat by their own windows sipping their coffee, Anetra heard a ping from her phone.  "You know, I've been thinking. I have a crazy idea, but I wanted to run it by you first." Sasha messaged.

  Anetra raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "What is it?" she replied.

Sasha typed, "Well, I know we've only been talking through our windows, but I was thinking, what if we had a real date? Like, in person?"

  Anetra's heart skipped a beat. She had been hoping for something like this but didn't want to assume anything. "I would love that," she typed back. "When did you have in mind?"

  "How about this weekend?" Sasha suggested. "There's this new coffee shop that just opened up, and I thought it would be fun to check it out together."

  Anetra smiled to herself, feeling giddy with excitement. "Sounds great to me," she replied. "I can't wait!"

  The day of their date arrived, and Anetra found herself nervously fidgeting with her clothes in front of the mirror. She had spent hours trying to pick out the perfect outfit, and now she wasn't even sure if it looked good.

  Just then, her phone buzzed with a message from Sasha. "Hey, I'm on my way! Can't wait to see you :)"

  Anetra's nerves dissipated a little, and she grinned at the message. "See you soon!" she replied.

  When Sasha arrived, Anetra was relieved to see that she looked just as nervous as she did. "Hi!" they both said in unison, giggling awkwardly.

  As they walked to the coffee shop, they chatted nervously about what they had been up to lately. Anetra couldn't help but feel like she was on a first date again, with all the jitters and butterflies that came with it.

  When they arrived at the coffee shop, they were surprised to find that it was packed with people. "Wow, it's really busy here," Sasha commented, looking around. "Do you want to maybe find a quieter place to sit?"

  Anetra nodded eagerly, grateful for the suggestion. They walked a few blocks until they found a quiet little park, with a small pond and a few benches scattered around. It was the perfect spot for a quiet conversation.

  They settled down on a bench overlooking the pond and ordered their coffee. As they sipped their drinks, Anetra felt the nervousness start to dissipate. Sasha was just as warm and funny in person as she was through their windows, and Anetra found herself relaxing into the conversation.

  As the sun started to set and the sky turned a brilliant orange, Anetra and Sasha realized they had been talking for hours. "Wow, time really flew by," Sasha said, grinning at Anetra. "I had so much fun hanging out with you today."

  "Me too," Anetra replied, feeling a warm glow in her chest. "This was amazing. We should do it again sometime."

  Sasha nodded eagerly. "Definitely. How about next weekend?"

  Anetra smiled, feeling grateful to have found such a wonderful friend in Sasha. "I can't wait," she said, feeling excited for their next adventure together.

  The following weekend, Anetra and Sasha decided to meet up at a new coffee shop that had just opened up in town. Anetra had been looking forward to trying out the shop's famous cold brew, while Sasha had something else on her mind.

  As they walked to the coffee shop, Sasha took a deep breath and gathered her courage. "Anetra, I have something to confess," she said, looking nervous.

  Anetra raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

  Sasha fidgeted with her hands. "I don't really like coffee," she admitted sheepishly.

  Anetra was taken aback. "What? But we've been having coffee together every night for the past few weeks!"

  Sasha shrugged. "I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to ruin the moment. I like spending time with you, and the coffee was just a bonus."

  Anetra felt a warm feeling spread through her chest. She realized that it wasn't the coffee that she enjoyed, but the time she spent with Sasha. "Well, that's okay," she said, smiling. "We don't have to drink coffee. We can find something else to do together."

  Sasha smiled back at her, feeling relieved. "Thanks, Anetra. You're the best."

  They arrived at the coffee shop, and Anetra couldn't resist trying the cold brew. She took a sip and immediately regretted it - it was bitter and strong, just the way Sasha liked it. "I don't think I like this," she said, making a face.

  Sasha chuckled. "Well, I can't say I didn't warn you. But don't worry, we can get something else."

  Anetra looked around the coffee shop, noticing the cozy atmosphere. The walls were adorned with beautiful paintings, and the aroma of freshly baked pastries filled the air. As they approached the counter to order, Sasha's eyes widened in excitement.

  "Oh, they have hot chocolate!" she exclaimed, pointing to the menu board. "Let's get that!" Anetra grinned, feeling grateful for Sasha's honesty. "Sure, let's get two hot chocolates."

  As they waited for their order, Sasha looked around the coffee shop. "This place is really nice. I like the vibe." They found a table by the window, and Anetra took a sip of her hot chocolate. It was sweet and creamy, and she couldn't help but smile. "This is so much better than that bitter cold brew," she said, laughing.

  Sasha grinned. "I'm glad you like it. You know, I was really nervous about telling you that I don't like coffee. I thought you would be upset or something." As they sipped their drinks, Sasha cleared her throat. "Anetra, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about." Anetra looked at her curiously. "What is it?"

  Sasha took a deep breath. "I was wondering... if you'd like to go out with me. Like, on a real date." Anetra blinked in surprise. "Wait, what? Are you serious? You want to go on a date with me?" she said, still in disbelief.

  Sasha nodded again, feeling her face turn red. "Yes, I do. I know it might sound crazy, but... I really like you, Neech. I've had a crush on you since the day that I saw you.” Anetra's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Really?"

  “Anetra, I literally pretended that I loved coffee so that I could spend time with you!” Sasha said while chuckling. Anetra giggled. "Oh my god, I had no idea. But I have to admit, I've been crushing on you too." Sasha felt her heart skip a beat. "You have?"

  Anetra nodded, her eyes shining. "Yeah, I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about you after I saw you making coffee at 3:00 am. I mean, why would I stick a note on my window for you to see if I am not interested in you?"

  Sasha blushed, feeling butterflies in her stomach. "I thought it was just a friendly note! I had no idea it was a sign." She laughed, feeling giddy. "I guess we've both been pretty obvious, huh?"

  Anetra grinned, leaning in closer to Sasha. "Well, we don't have to be obvious anymore. Now that we've admitted our feelings, we can just enjoy each other's company without any pretenses."

  Sasha smiled back at Anetra, feeling her heart swell with warmth. "I like the sound of that."

  Anetra reached out to hold Sasha's hand, and they both giggled at the electricity they felt. "So, what do you want to do now that we're officially a couple?" Anetra asked.

  Sasha thought for a moment before her face lit up. "Let's make coffee together!"

  Anetra raised an eyebrow, amused. "Again? I thought you only pretended to love coffee to get closer to me."

  Sasha chuckled. "Well, I might not be a coffee lover, but I love spending time with you. And making coffee together is something we both enjoy."

[marta-bee]

Pressing on with the great Good Omens reading, I am quite in love with our favorite deliveryman's doing his duty by Death:

He was halfway across when a German juggernaut came around the corner, its driver crazed on caffeine, little white pills, and EEC transport regulations. He watched its receding bulk. Cor, he thought, that one nearly had me. Then he looked down at the gutters. Oh, he thought. YES, agreed a voice from behind his left shoulder, or at least from behind the memory of his left shoulder. The delivery man turned, and looked, and saw. At first he couldn't find the words, couldn't find anything, and then the habits of a working lifetime took over and he said, "Message for you, sir." FOR ME? "Yes, sir." He wished he still had a throat. He could have swallowed, if he still had a throat. "No package, I'm afraid, Mister... uh, sir. It's a message." DELIVER IT, THEN. "It's this, sir. Ahem. Come and see." FINALLY. There was a grin on its face, but then, given the face, there couldn't have been anything else. THANK YOU, it continued. I MUST COMMEND YOUR DEVOTION TO DUTY. "Sir?" The late delivery man was falling through a gray mist, and all he could see were two spots of blue, that might have been eyes, and might been distant stars. DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death, JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH. The delivery man had a brief moment to wonder whether his new companion was making a joke, and to decide that he wasn't; and then there was nothing.

There's something delightfully macabre about this whole scene but so mundane at the same time. It's understated. It's full of a certainty that this is just how things are. And it lends such an understated but inarguable power to Death here, a finality that fits quite well.

As for the deliveryman it presents him as so thoroughly non-special, it really packs a punch because this could be any one o us. He seems like a hobbit. Not one of the heroes but just one of those doing their best in the midst of it all; a Fatty Bolger or a Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, perhaps.

Plus, it's funny. It's just hilarious and twisting-a-knife-in-the-gut oofiness all at the same time.

*************

Using a slightly different part of my brain, I'm intrigued by the description of Pestilence Pollution. The character is literally Mr. White (here, Chalk), and while I guess his race was never spelled out, assumptions defaulting as they do, I always thought he was meant to be racially white as well. The show gives us a brilliant nonbinary version of the character, but also one played by an Asian (specifically Filipino) actress.

Which is interesting, for a start. because of the politics around pollution and global warming and the role Asian countries like China becoming more developed contribute to that. In reality Western countries are responsible for so much more, but connecting pollution with an Asian face seems to tap into something slightly uncomfortable, at least for me.

To be clear, I doubt it was intentional, and Lourdes was so brilliant in the role, I can't really imagine anyone else doing so well. But seeing a character my brain insists on imagining as a white man, probably a middle-aged white man in a suit, definitely hits differently.

*************

Finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out the River Uck is an actual place, and if Wikipedia can be believed its signs are subject to exactly the kind of vandalism one would hope. But even without that, what a glorious place-name for this scene. I like imagining Neill and Terry giggling over it back in the day, or at least smiling gently at the world's neverending absurdities.

*************

That's all I've got time for this weekend, reading-wise, unfortunately. It is nice to get my readerly toes wet again, though.

[rotationalsymmetry]

yes! I'm intrigued (as someone who did not live vibrantly as a kid)

from @creative-anchorage

Cool, thank you, good news, I'm doing this, bad news, by youth I meant late teens through early adulthood rather than childhood, hope you enjoy it anyways. CW suicidal thoughts, some talk of sex.

I'm going to go greentext format because that just feels natural to me right now.

Be me. Be reading a book about making happy memories, because reasons.

Book starts talking about the reminiscence bump: that when old people are asked about their memories, there's a huge cluster in the approx age 15-30 zone.

Author goes into a whole lot of memories from when he was 21 (and apparently traveling the world and stuff.)

Author (age 40) contrasts that to what he remembered from age 31, which was mostly going to the office a lot and one joke about toilets.

Take a moment to align memories of series of events with actual years.

Folks, the year I was 21 sucked and while I could remember some things from it, I didn't really want to. The year I was 21 was mostly after my first relationship fizzled, and we'd had some pretty epic world-shaking sex and I was running into this problem where I still wanted epic world-shaking sex but couldn't get it, and for some reason my brain-weasels decided that wanting sex and not getting it (in contrast to wanting sex that I got, because my boyfriend also wanted it, which apparently was just fine) made me A Slut which was the worst thing I could possibly be.

I have no idea where that came from, btw. I was super depressed though. One of the memories I don't especially want to remember was of going into a bookstore to browse, picking up a book, reading a sentence, and trying to read it over and over again because my brain was simply not taking in words any more.

And then I moved in with a friend I had really high hopes for (and ok, some romantic feelings for) and that friendship kinda crashed and burned. And my brain weasels were telling me some story about how if I couldn't figure out how to be friends with people that would mean I would never get enough support to pursue my own dreams which would inevitably mean I'd turn into a cynical monster bent on crushing other people's dreams, and it would be better for other people's happiness if I just didn't exist, so I should kill myself. Yeah, that doesn't make sense to me either. But it made enough sense to me then that I was putting serious thought into method and picked a date. My 22nd birthday, actually.

In retrospect I think I wasn't that close to killing myself ever? But it didn't hurt that I got new feelings for someone else and while things didn't work out, the exciting feelings got me past my 22nd birthday in one piece, and then there were holidays with my family that I was genuinely looking forward to, and once I dragged my ass into spring semester and also into the student counseling center things started getting better. But yeah, even though I did have some interesting and positive experiences in there, overall that specific 12 month period has a massive "wow that was a terrible time in my life" cloud hanging over it. Which means mostly I don't want to remember anything from it, except at times when I'm also super depressed and my brain is trying to convince me I've always been this way.

The year I was 31, though?

That was a great year. I was a couple years out of a relationship that had some good points but didn't make the cut for the long haul, and I'd been exploring the kink scene (so many memories) and dating as a polyamorous person, and I'd found someone I liked a little under a year earlier and then, shortly after my 31st birthday, I found another person I liked, (who I've been with for nine years now), and age 31 is covered with this exciting glow of being stupidly in love with two people at once.

And that's just my love life. 31 was also when I was in seminary and before things went off the rails, and most of my classes were really great and my classmates and professors were really amazing and I was so freaking excited about becoming a minister.

And I think at this point I'd finally figured out that groups that meet once or twice a month and that allow for talking about sensitive personal issues are absolutely my jam, and I was getting that, and I was doing sort of volunteer community-service stuff that was meaningful to me. (And there were problems, but they were mostly good problems, like "how do I see these lovely two people as much as I want and also get all my reading done?" and "where is the TMI line when talking to people at my (very liberal) church about being madly in love with two people at once?" and "how worried should I be about this polyamory thing affecting my career in my very liberal denomination?" And also "why is my very cool indigenous perspectives class making me read 300 pages per week, that is way too much reading, how am I supposed to deal with this?")

And really, it wasn't just that year either. The whole half-decade around that time was a really excellent period in my life, and just filled to the brim with interesting memories. I was doing so much, I had so many new things going on in my life, constantly. (It's dried up a lot since getting CFS, things still happen but they're a lot more spread out. Still better than some of the worse mental health periods in my life though.)

And for the study where the reminiscence bump came from, they asked people who were 100 years old -- people who were young longer ago, maybe they all or nearly all had the "find one person in your 20's and settle down" life experience, maybe people are attributing to age what's actually about what you're doing with your life, and people who have a hard time getting their life going due to problems like mental illness and other disabilities or you're queer and it takes you a while to come out or find people you can date or you don't really start feeling like you're living your life properly until after you transition or you're polyamorous but you kept thinking you could make monogamy work if you tried hard enough, you can get those experiences later, and

I suspect that for a lot of these people, it's not that they couldn't have those particularly intense and novel experiences later in life, it's that to some degree they were satiated by getting those experiences of writing at a cafe in Mexico or talking to a cute person at a museum in their teens and twenties, and were ready for a life that had fewer firsts and more "ah yes, I am waking up next to the person I love, again" which is a very delightful experience and you can have an excellent year made up of moments like that, it's just not as memorable as the first time you woke up next to them. Goodness knows people who live to be 100 are disproportionately likely to not be marginalized and to have a happy and very, very normal marriage.

Those posts that go around about how you haven't lost your chance at a good life if your childhood/teens/early adulthood was kinda rough and not how you wanted it to be? I share them because they're true. Probably for many people their early 20's are the time they like to look back on the most. But it wasn't my experience. And I got my good experiences later and they weren't less than for coming along later.

(I do kinda think my life now could be better than it is though, so I want to make some adjustments so I spend more of my limited spoons doing things that I really enjoy in the moment and can look back to as things that I'm really glad I did later on.)

There’s a personal post I want to write about youth and memories and living vibrantly, but it’s going to be a long one and I kinda need a running start. Anyone want to give me a boost by saying they want to hear about it?

[slasherparadise]

Slashers reacting to a victim offering sex as an escape tactic

Norman Bates

You had just arrived in town to visit your brother, finding the 'Bates Motel' had been a saving grace, you had no where else to stay while your brother's girlfriend was in town taking up the only guest room. Checking in had been a breeze and you recalled the young man that had checked you in, thinking about how handsome and sweet he was. "Norman" You said to yourself as you unpacked your clothes for the night, after getting settled in you decided to watch a little television before going to bed, he said they have cable right? Turning on the TV you couldn't help but look out the window and see Norman staring in at you, you gasped at the sight and went to the door, opening it to see what he wanted but you instantly knew something was off about him. "Well hello miss y/n, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting you. I'm Norma, my son and I run this little place, isn't it charming?" You gave him a curious look as to ask him if he was joking " are you feeling alright Norman?" You said with a concerned look, what you didn't expect was for him to instantly grab you and push you into your room. Pulling put a knife he yelled "I told you my name was Norma! How much clearer do I need to be?!" Seeing that he was obviously confused you decided to play along in order to save your life "I'm so sorry, the lightning was a bit off, of course it's you" he smiled and stroked your cheek "such a pretty thing aren't we, be a shame to put you to waste" you weren't sure if he was talking about his sexual desires or the desire to kill you but you did your best to play the part "who said anything about wasting it, you can have me now, all of me" You said as you took off your shirt revealing yourself to this strange man. He looked at you with lust in his eyes as he put the knife down on the bedside table. You leaned in and kissed him wanting to get this over with. With the kiss it seemed to bring him back to reality, to himself. When he realized what he was about to do he ran out of the room. Not to be seen for the rest if the night. Leaving you both scared and confused.

Michael Myers

You walking into your bedroom to be met with a tall figure, one you recognized from the news. You stumbled back and fell on your butt, looking up at his emotionless mask "your here to kill me aren't you?" You asked while studying his body language. He tilted his head to the side as if he were surprised that you spoke to him, pulling the knife out of the pocket of his jumpsuit your put your hand in front of you in defense. "Wait! What if we made a deal?!" He cocked his head to the side once more as if this proposition intrigued him "I have to say, I've always been attracted to strong men like yourself. I heard about you, you know. You were locked up right? Couldn't have had many visitors in all that time, what if you took your frustration out on me? I know you must have a lot, but Michael killing me isn't going to solve that, I can help you." His grip on the knife tightened momentarily before he put it back into his pocket, crouching down to get a better view of you "how.." he managed to say in a gruff voice "I'll let you have your way with me, to do anything you please. As long as you don't kill me. I'll be your willing slave, your sex doll" you were honestly afraid of his answer, if he said no well, you'd be dead. But if he agreed you had no idea what would happen (other than the obvious) . He stood up, picking you up along with him and flinging you over his shoulder like a rag doll, you had clearly underestimated his strength. Though you had to admit it turned you on. Throwing you on the bed he leaned over you and in that same gruff voice from before he said "you've got yourself a deal".

Thomas Hewitt

You woke up to a pounding headache and little memory of the night before, when you tried to sit up you realized that your hands and feet were chained to a wooden table. Hearing loud footsteps approaching you wondered if it was the sheriff that brought your group of friends to this house in seemingly the middle of nowhere, but to your surprise it was a bigger man with a mask covering the lower half of his face. "Oh God, who the fuck are you!?" One of your friends screamed out, which only seemed to anger the man even more as he clenched onto the cleaver he was holding. As he came closer you saw how the other girls looked at him in disgust and fear, shunning him away with their eyes, all while you could see the hurt behind his own. "Don't pay them any mind, their just bitches" you said in a soothing voice which caused him to direct his attention to you. He stepped closer to you in a slow and steady pace, close enough for you to feel the back of his hand brush against your arm, making you shiver. He looked directly into your e/c eyes, causing a red blush to cover your cheeks. You always loved horror movies and would be the one rooting for the killer, so this only seemed like second nature for you. "I'll have sex with you if you let my friends go" he looked at you curiously before pointing at you "I didn't really think you were gonna let me go anyway " he shook his head no, before pulling out a notepad and scribbling on it, what you read made your eyes burn as the tears threatened to come out "no one wants to be with a monster like me" You looked up at the man with a single tear running down your cheek "I do."

[natswritingz]

Sexting next door / Sam x Reader

Note : This is my first fic in I don’t know how long, I tried my hardest so I really hope at least someone can enjoy this lol, also might be typos!

Words : 2.4k

Warnings : Sexting, exchanging pictures, dirty dirty talking, talk of oral/penetration/dry humping, swearing, lots of stuff.

The last week had been occupied with a hunt which ended with the three of you searching the woods for an old cemetery, laying all the buried souls to rest. Working with the Winchesters made the gigs easier. You found some joy in their presence, especially around Sammy.

You guys obviously had crushed on eachother, Sammy made the most moves while you took them as innocent jokes. You just didn't want to complicate anything for anyone.

You all had just got back to the motel, while the brothers shared a room like always, you got your own right next door. Your phone sat next to you as you pried off your dirt caked boots, hidden graveyards were something else. The device chimed with Sams assigned ringtone, you grabbed it in eagerness.

"You get settled in?"

You smiled at the text, he knew how to make you feel special even if it's a simple check in. You struggled with a response that sounded natural, typing then deleting, you finally wrote one and went with it.

"Yeah, just got the boots off lol"

"Are you getting anything good on the tv?"

"Nope, nothing"

That was a lie, you haven't even looked at the tv yet, but he didn't know that. You began unbuttoning your grimy top, feeling the cool air nip at your skin while the material still hung on your shoulders. You bit your lip as you typed another text to follow your previous one.

"Finally getting out of these clothes too"

You locked your phone quickly with embarrassment, you couldn't believe what you just sent. He was your friend, but the entire day he had been constantly flirting which made the temptation even harder to resist. The phone chimed after what felt like ages.

"Me too, I was able to get the shower first"

You read the text through squinted eyes, terrified to read his response with fully opened eyes. Your mind trailed to the image of him without anything on, the warm water running down his toned body, it made your heart race.

"Just about to get in"

You nervously pulled at your lip while intently watching the screen.

"Maybe I should hop in too, hot water sounds amazing right now"

"Do it, I'll keep you company ;)"

The wink confirmed it. He was leaving an opening for you to accept or decline before pursuing anything more.

"I'm taking off my clothes right now, what are you doing?"

"Turning the shower on, already undressed"

"I wish I could see that"

He opened it and hasn't responded in a while, you completely fucked it up. You cursed at yourself before seeing the tiny text bubble come up and disappear a few times until one finally came in.

"I wish I could see you take off those jeans, I could not stop staring at your ass today. All I wanted to do was pounce on you, you've been all I could think of."

You gulped at his message, this was would be your first time sexting, you were already loving it. You felt yourself getting excited at his message, reading it over and over. You pulled your shirt off the rest of the way.

"You were looking? That's very unprofessional of you, Sammy. If only I knew, I would've been 'accidentally' grinding against you all day."

Both of your tones suddenly changed, it wasn't the laid back no-period texts you normally exchanged, it was dirty and intriguing. You couldn't wait for him to respond.

"If you had done that, I don't think I would've been able to control myself."

"What would you have done? I would've loved to feel you press against my ass, I'm clenching my thighs just thinking about it."

"I would've pulled you into the nearest room and commanded you to grind against me until you came in your pretty panties."

You groaned at the thought, Sammy made dry humping sound hot, he could probably make any sexual act sound compelling.

"How do you know what panties I wear?"

You found yourself completely wrapped in texting back and forth you forgot about your plans to shower. Deciding to get comfortable, you leaned back onto the comforter. You were invested in where this was going, a shower could wait, unlike this.

"I've done your laundry and seen you in your undergarments before. I think I pretty much know everything about you, Y/N."

"I'm imaging my lace covered pussy grinding against your bulge covered by your boxers. It would feel so good to have you rub against me. I'd be soaking through my panties you could definitely see it dampening both our cloths."

You wanted to get dirtier so you tested the water, you wrote the first thing you thought of. It may have been a little too forward but your lust clouded all rational thinking.

"Jesus. My imagination might not be doing this scenario justice, I think we'd have to try it out next time we see eachother."

The elation in you grew with each suggestion.

"And when will that be?"

"If you keep it up, soon. Have you stripped yet?"

Sam was a great dom, he wanted everything to be in his control and you couldn't help but like it. You could trust him with control.

"I've been so busy with our little daydreams, I forgot I was even going to shower. Laying in bed still partially clothed."

"Take your pants off now, then give your ass a nice spank for me. Make it sting."

You followed his orders, placing the phone to your side as you lifted your hips to remove the jeans. You held the phone again as you flipped, now laying on your stomach, you used your free hand to rub on your cheek before giving it a sharp smack.

"Both are done, I'm thinking this might leave a mark?"

You raised your phone in a rush of confidence, snapping a photo of your ass and the handprint that reddened with time, attaching it to your message, and sending it without any hesitation. The mark was not as big as Sam could do and you dearly wished it was his hand instead.

"Fucking hell Y/N, I was not expecting that. You're making me want to come over right now to fuck you senseless."

"What do I do next? Still have my panties and bra on."

"Take your bra off baby girl, play with your nipples till they're both hard. Pinch them, flick them, be rough with it."

It was easy for you to follow his words, you found yourself loving his demands and dominance, you could keep following them for hours. You held yourself up with an elbow, you pinched the tip hard between your fingertips, rolling them slightly for more stimulation. You moaned with each uncoordinated flick.

"They're feeling so sensitive now."

You attached another picture, your tits in frame with your now erect and red nipples. After his reaction with the last one, you wanted to get more from him.

"So so perfect. Picture I'm there, sucking and biting on them. My warm breath fanning your soft skin. I want to make you feel good."

"You're making me feel good right now, I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"We can stop whenever you get uncomfortable, I want you to be good with all of this."

His message made you smile through the lust, he really did care about you. It wasn't the most ideal timing, but you could easily get worked back up again with his skills.

"Sorry, never wanna stop this <3"

You shook your head with a small laugh as you flirted.

"Good, me neither. You still have your panties on like a good girl?"

"Haven't taken them off yet, you haven't told me to."

"Sounds like someone's enjoying being bossed around, huh? What if I told you to suck me off, would you do it?"

"I'd let you throat fuck me. I want to gasp for my breath when you finally pull from my mouth."

"Your lips look perfect for my cock, I want to see them wrapped around me as I thrust into your mouth."

"I want you to be as rough as you can, Sammy."

You flipped over to your back once again, your hand dipping into your undies, rubbing soft circles over your clit as you awaited another message. You wanted to invite him over that instant but you had to resist the urge, sexting was fun and a good first step for the two of you.

"I've finally entered the shower, I'm stroking myself to the pictures you sent me. Kinda hard keeping the phone dry."

You laughed a little to yourself at the end of his message.

"Your turn?"

Not that your heart hadn't been pounding the entire time, your recent text made it even faster. You bit your lip in anticipation, you couldn't lie to yourself, you've always wondered what he was packing. And just like that, you revived a picture. Your jaw clenched at his size and width, you weren't entirely sure you'd be able to fit him if you ever got to doing this stuff in person. It was hot and impressive.

"How am I going to fit all of you? I don't think any amount of wetness would prepare me for you."

"We'll make it fit princess, I wanna see your warm pussy stretch around me. Fuuuck, I want you so bad Y/N."

"I want you bad too, maybe our next session can be face to face. I can't imagine how you'll make me feel when I have your hands on me instead of my own."

"You touching yourself right now? I don't remember telling you to stop playing with your tits."

"I couldn't take it anymore, I was aching for some relief."

That was true, your pussy throbbed for attention to the point it hurt to not touch yourself. No one else had this affect over you, making you soak through your lace like nothing.

"Fine, you can touch yourself as long as you don't cum until I allow you, and take it easy, I want you to enjoy this."

"Yes, Sammy."

You slowed down, rubbing slow circles on your aroused clit. Everything was heightened and sensitive, what was he doing to you?

"I'm touching myself, paced instead of rushed. I wish this was your hand. Not gonna lie, I constantly think of how good your large hands would feel on my body."

"Where?"

His response was immediate after he quickly read your message, considering what he told you just a little ago, you knew he was getting off to your little conversation.

"On my ass, in my pussy, around my throat. Even you holding my hands above my head or behind my back sounds like a pleasure. I want you to touch and explore every part of me."

The typing bubble appeared just as it did when he responded to every other text, this time you cut off his response with another one of your own, you wanted to get him really worked up.

"For future reference, I'd probably cum instantly with your tongue on my clit and your fingers in me as deep as they'd go."

You weren't a newbie when it came to sex, you knew what you wanted in the bedroom. Being a hunter and constantly hopping town to town, you had your occasional one night stand to release the stress that came with your job.

"Oh really? You want me buried in you while tasting you all at once? I can do that for you princess, I've been wanting to taste you. I'd eat you out till you came on my tongue then I'd make you kiss me, deep."

"You already know I'd return the favor."

You referred back to your message you sent not long ago about going down on him.

"We haven't even talked about getting to the main act and you've got me almost cumming. I had to slow my pace in order to not finish."

You smirked at his reply, biting your lip with a small groan as you still touched yourself. You were hoping you had the same effect on him that he had on you.

"Let's get onto the main act then. How'd you want to fuck me?"

"I can think of a few ways... But I most definitely want to see myself slide in and out of you. I want to enjoy every bit."

"Maybe my hands holding onto the back of my thighs while laying on my back? Everything would be on display."

"I could put your legs up on my shoulders and get really deep in you. Wouldn't that feel good?"

"I'd be seeing stars. And I would not be able to walk afterwards. Feeling you brush against my cervix repeatedly with your big cock, you're gonna fill me so good."

"Y/N you're gonna make me cum. Speed up."

With his permission, you started to rub faster. You moaned loudly, forgetting about anyone else in the seedy motel.

"Fuck, keep moaning."

You blushed in embarrassment, he could hear you from their rooms bathroom which definitely meant Dean could hear you, the strangers on the opposite side didn't concern you. You allowed yourself to moan with each lap, not holding back the cries. You went on for a minute before diverting your attention back to the phone.

"Imagine how much louder I'd be with you inside me."

"I've been thinking about all the noises you'd be making the entire time. You sound so hot. Are you close?"

"Yeah Sammy, I'm almost there."

Your breathing pattern became rapid and harsh, small wines escaping your lips as you played yourself to perfection.

"Beg for permission to cum."

You groaned at his response.

"Please let me cum, please Sam, I'm not sure I can hold it."

It was hard enough holding back your release but even harder to beg with one hand.

"You can cum baby, just cause you've been so good."

Your body released the tension, the relief rolling in as you came in your panties, finally. It hit you hard, your hips shaking as you moaned louder than earlier. You couldn't deny it, you never orgasmed like that when you were doing it solo.

"I couldn't help but finish to your moans"

His response was like his usual ones, not so formal and more playful. You could get used to seeing both sides regularly.

"We should do this more often, or try it in person, either one"

"I am 100% on board with that"

If for some reason you wanna be notified when I post a new fic, leave a comment to be tagged and your username will go here!

[punderfulowl]

Top 10 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2020

Well now, it has certainly been awhile. I'm currently sitting at eight months too late for posting this, but, y'know, something something life happens. More accurately, I already made this list, but wanted to try out what response I'd get from Reddit. Turns out, they're not as cool as you guys!

Anyways, as the title states, this is not a list of my favorite anime that came out during 2020, but instead my favorite anime that I just so happen to see during that year. While it's fun to have an end of the year retrospective, I find that having a list in this format not only adds variety, but also helps bring attention to anime that might have been lost in the shuffle in previous years (I also don't have enough time to stay caught up in seasonal releases).

Honorable mentions:

Aggretsuko S3, My Hero Academia S4, Today's Menu For the Emiya Family, Interspecies Reviewers (yes, really), and I Couldn't Become a Hero So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job

10. Maid-Sama (2010)

In hindsight, I find it a bit funny that I wanted to watch something wholesome to kick off 2020. Anyway, Maid-Sama is about a high school girl that is also a no nonsense Class President and she kind of has to be at a school where, until recently, was an all boys school. While she kills it in academics and is good at shutting down any shenanigans from the male student body, her financial situation isn't the greatest and has to balance a job at a maid cafe along with her school-related responsibilities. She does her best to hide her employment there to keep up appearances, but is one day found out by one of the boys who happens to be a big flirt and, yeah, hijinks ensue. While this anime doesn't have too many surprises, our main leads bounce off each other well enough to keep me entertained. Nothing I haven't seen already in other anime Rom-Coms, but I think it has more than earned its place at the start of this list.

9. Haganai NEXT (2013)

It's a personal rule of mine when making these lists that I don't include sequels of shows that were in previous lists. While I DID see the first season of Haganai a couple of years ago, it didn't quite make it into the top ten at that time. Because of that, it meets the criteria for this year's list. While I found the characters were just as charming here as I did during the first season, the development of their relationships really took off. It's a shame that it will most likely not get a third season, but I'm happy with what ride this show gave me. But hey! At least I can read the light novels/manga to continue the story! Wait, nevermind, the Haganai fans on Reddit are saying that's a bad idea.

8. Engaged to the Unidentified (2014)

Based off of a Four Panel joke manga, Engaged to the Unidentified tells the story of a girl in high school suddenly getting some life changing news. As it turns out, her grandfather made an arranged engagement with her and the son of a family he knew. Next thing she knows, the boy in question, as well as his little sister, moves into her family's house! While the boy is unassuming at first, there may be more to him and his family than he lets on. Plain and simple, this anime has charmed me. There's a decent amount of drama and mystery despite the source material and I applaud it! Even though this also doesn't have much new to offer, even to the point where I would compare this to Maid-Sama, what made me pick this at the 8th spot were the color choices and animation quality. Give this a shot if you can!

7. Grimoire of Zero (2017)

It's a fantasy/adventure story starring a loli sorcerer and a huge, anthropomorphic white tiger man. I honestly can't say anything else. I won't be able to do it justice. That first sentence should intrigue you a lease a little bit. Read it, again. Please check it out. It's an underrated gem that no one is talking about.

6. ID: Invaded (2020)

Hey, here's something recent! Unfortunately, this is also not something I can say much about. There may not be too many deep characters and the secret bad guy isn't hard to figure out, but BOY is this anime cool! The best way to describe this series is that it's like the movie Inception, but instead of brain heists, it's brain murder mysteries.

5. Carole and Tuesday (2019)

A runaway rich girl has a fated meeting with an orphan and they decide to make music together...oh, this also takes place Mars. Joking aside, this show was something special with its music (a new song almost every episode no less), interesting setting (freaking Mars, dude), and endearing main cast. Shoot, the music itself would be top 3, maybe number 1, but what bogs it down is the show's second half. I can easily see myself watching this again someday, and maybe my opinion will lighten up, but for now, 5 is a dang good spot.

4. Fate/Grand Order: Absolute Demonic Front - Babylonia (2019)

Part of me hesitates placing this high up on list due to this show being animated, fan service spectacle for Fate fans. However, that hesitation is overshadowed by the fact that I am a Fate fan myself and I can do whatever I want with this list. Even if you're not a Fate fan or play FGO, if you enjoy some solid fight animation, this is worth a look.

3. K-On S1 (2009)

I'll admit it, I might regret not watching the second season then putting the series on the list as a whole, but this how I've been doing these lists and I'm such a creature of habit. There's not much I can say about K-On that hasn't already been said. By itself it's an anime classic and one of Kyo-ani's biggest properties. It's a sweet and wholesome watch, but be sure to have some insulin within reach.

2. Princess Principal (2017)

Imagine you're working with a team of programmers trying to make a mobile game then all of a sudden someone asks to make a show out of it. You know, a show with different character motivations, plot, twist and turns and all that? Most might say that's just a shameless, shallow cash grab, but it turns out okay for Princess Principal. Sure, most might summarize this anime as, "cute girls doing espionage things," but with its cast, visuals, and interesting alternative timeline, it works! Apparently there's a new season or movie in the works and I am all for it!

1. Beastars (2019)

I was not expecting this to be number one, but with much deliberation (with myself obviously) this feels right. It tells a pretty unique story while showing itself to be the exception to the rule when it comes to 3D anime.....it being that it's actually good. While I acknowledge that shows like K-On are classics and deserves to be number one on many different lists, it didn't line up with my personal criteria like Beastars did. My biggest deciding factor is: Now that I've watched this, do I want more? It's true that while I'm excited to start K-On S2, Beastars intrigues me more and ever since season two was announced, I'm looking forward to that more.

Sorry again for this list being so late, but at least the silver lining is that the next end of the year list is about four months away (in theory)!

[professorsnape394]

The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Nine: Letters, Lovers and Loyalties

A/N: This is the ninth part to my fanfiction ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 2185

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

Yet another letter dropped into the lap of Aria Dumbledore as she sat absentmindedly sketching. Dropping her quill back into the small pot of ink which balanced on the arm of her chair, a small sigh escaped her lips. She had been expecting another to arrive any day now.

Aria allowed herself a small glance in the direction of her desk where the ever growing pile of unopened letter sat gathering dust. Disregarding her drawing, Aria traveled to her desk, fingers fumbling with the edge of the envelope. Admittedly, Aria's mind had been focused on that small pile of letters the past few days, and consequently the man who sent them. She couldn't bring herself to reply to his constant inquiries, but she had considered there was no harm in opening a few of them. She longed to hear from him, though she had been in denial for so long now she wasn't sure what to expect from his most recent letters.

Waiting no longer she ripped the paper from its wax seal, her eyes quickly scanning every word on the page.

My dear Aria, Though I know you say you cannot reply to my letters, I write them all with the hope that you will find the time in your busy schedule to at least read them. As always things are quiet here without you. Too quiet. I miss your voice. I miss hearing you sing to yourself in the shower thinking no one can hear you, I miss hearing you hum as you wander aimlessly through the house, I miss watching you draw as I pose for you, but most importantly I miss holding you in my arms. I long for the end of the school year when we will be reunited and I will have nothing to miss except maybe writing these letters. I long for a response to my letters, my darling. I simply must know that you miss me as I miss you. In the mean time I will continue to write to you to keep myself distracted from everything terrible happening in the world, by simply thinking of you. All my love, S.

Aria couldn't help but feel a great pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach for ignoring the letters, but she couldn't bare the thought of reading them, while she was still coming to terms with how she felt when she decided to leave for Hogwarts. She knew immediately she would not be able to maintain a long distance relationship with him. Though he was the first man she had ever loved she had been too cowardly to confess her feelings for him in person, let alone on a piece of parchment. She knew she was a pathetic coward from the moment he told her he loved her and she could not find it in her to return the favour. Her cowardice was more than proven the day she left for Hogwarts. Aria had planned to break up with him, to avoid further heartbreak down the line. But she could not even find the courage to do that.

Instead she was living in denial. In her mind they had broken up, and refused to face up to whatever she was truly feeling until it was absolutely necessary. Her plan had been to distract herself as much as possible, suppress her feelings and just forget about the situation completely. And to be totally honest her plan had been working for her, with the exception of a few off days such as today. However when it came time to wake up and face the music she had no idea what her plan would be then.

Leaving the letter open on her desk she took a stroll around the grounds of Hogwarts to clear her mind. The time to figure out all of her problems was not now. She was still a young, carefree woman and she didn't want the burden of guilt stopping her from living her life however she so wished.

Arias walk led her to the village of Hogsmeade, and after working up a light sweat, the young professor opted to pop into the Three Broomsticks to quench her thirst.

Unsurprisingly for a late Tuesday evening the place was barren. Besides for a drunken wizard practically falling off his bar stood, a crazy witch whispering to herself and two well dressed men, sitting out of place in a side booth, the place was completely deserted. Planning to only stay for a pumpkin juice Aria took a seat at the bar and begun chatting to the same barmaid who had served her and Severus all those weeks ago.

"Busy night?" Aria joked, rolling her eyes at the drunk to her right.

The woman laughed in return, handing over a glass of pumpkin juice. "This is pretty much the standard, at this time." She shrugged, polishing off a perfectly clean glass, to keep herself busy. "That one over there doesn't even order anything, but its not worth the hassle kicking her out." She gestured to the old hag in the corner, her perfectly polished nails glistening in the dim bar light.

"I wish I could say I felt sorry for you, but a break away from the chaos that is Hogwarts is a slight relief." Aria sighed. She was still not used to being around so many people all the time having spent the past few years alone, besides her mother, she often needed time alone to breathe.

"Oh, then you must be new. I've had my fair share of lonely professors spend an evening behind my bar, and I usually remember who's spilled their whole life story to me. Though you do look familiar, what do you teach?" She finished up with her glasses, leaning her elbows on the bar to get a closer look at the younger woman, her breasts practically falling out her blouse.

"I'm just an apprentice for now. I'm the new Potions Mistress." Aria smiled, taking a small sip of her drink.

"Oh yes, now I remember. You came here with that Severus. He's not unfamiliar with our whiskey selection, if you know what I mean." Both women rolled their eyes in unison. "He doesn't seem to talk much though, I can't say I know anything about him. I must admit I was surprised to see him with a gorgeous young witch like yourself."

"You weren't the only one." Aria scoffed, finishing off her pumpkin juice.

"Well it makes a little bit more sense now." She laughed, a set of pristine pearly teeth emerging from her red glossy lips.

It seemed Aria was not the only one who had been admiring the woman's beauty, and almost right on cue the drunk decided to look a little bit more lively, demanding another pint. Reluctantly the barmaid obliged, shooting Aria an apologetic look.

Aria couldn't help but notice the gruff looking man practically throw himself over the bar in order to get a good gawk at the barmaids behind. The slightly older woman seemed unfazed by the mans actions, in-fact Aria wasn't entirely unsure she wasn't enjoying the attention. Choosing not to interrupt as neither party seemed to object to the altercation, Aria kept her mouth shut.

That was until the man's attention turned to her. The barmaid disappeared from view, presumably to refill the barrel the drunk had practically drowned himself in. "Haven't seen you around here before." He started harmlessly, though Aria did not miss the way his eyes seemed to scan the whole of her body.

"Just moved into Hogwarts, haven't seen much of Hogsmeade." Aria admitted, but made the conscious decision to turn away from him, hoping not to engage in any further conversation.

"You a friend of Ros'" He asked, intrigued, while downing a good half of his pint.

"Not really, no." Aria shrugged. "I didn't even know her name until just now."

"Rosalind Rookwood." He edged his seat closer to Arias. "Fantastic barmaid, though I wouldn't say it was her best profession." He winked.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Aria turned her nose up at the man, just praying he would leave her alone.

"Well, you know, bein' a barmaids fine an all, but it doesn't always pay the bills. Miss Rookwood's got her fair share of stories to tell, and not all of them her own." He laughed, the potent stench of his alcoholic breath suffocating Aria as he leaned in closer, wrapping a heavy arm around her shoulders. "If it turns out teaching isn't for you, just know you'll have a loyal customer in me." He hiccuped, his free arm, reaching down to stroke the woman's exposed thigh.

Instinctively Aria gripped onto his wrist, forcing it off of her. "What the hell do you think you are doing!?" Aria exclaimed, pushing the man away from her. "Don't you dare lay your hands on me again."

The drunk showed no sign of guilt or remorse, he simply chuckled to himself, revealing a shocking lack of teeth. Disgusted, Aria made to move but found herself cornered against the bar.

Fortunately the altercation had caused enough disruption to alert the two men having a casual evening drink. Instantly one rushed over to her aid, stupefying the old man. The second man followed suit and made it his business to remove the frozen figure from the bar.

"Are you alright?" The first man asked, his brow furrowing with worry.

"I'm fine, thank you for stepping in." Aria smiled, brushing herself down, as though she was riding herself from the drunks disgusting touch.

The man returned a boyish grin, his eyes bright blue and full of kindness. Aria had never seen anyone like him. His presence was almost cartoon like, with positivity radiating from him. Aria couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh, her smile growing just by looking at him. His energy was contagious.

"Is... is there anything I can do to thank you?" She tried your shake herself back to reality though remained entranced by him.

"Nothing at all. I'm just glad I was here to help." He extended a hand, almost nervously, introducing himself. "Alexander Turner, pleasure to meet you."

"You too." Aria blushed, unable to break eye contact with the man, and was now incredibly aware of how dumbfounded she must look. "I'm Aria" She stuttered, the sound of his friend retuning sending her back to reality. "I apologise for staring, but I just can't seem to take my eyes off you, you have an enchanting aura about you. I'm sorry if I may seem a little strange."

"There's no need to apologise, I get it all the time." He laughed, though not arrogantly, it was sweet and innocent. "My mother's a Veela." He added, almost embarrassedly, upon noticing the slightly look of confusion appearing on Arias face.

The couple shared an awkward smile, both at a loss for words.

Alexander's friend passed by the pair silently, slapping him encouragingly on the shoulder before disappearing behind the bar, Rosalind following closely behind.

Aria noted the difference in both attitude and appearance in the two men, finally able to distinguish between the two. The friend was tall and broad shouldered, his hair messy though not long. He gave off a sort of American football, "bro", fratbroy vibe. In other words kind of arrogant and full of himself. Clearly he saw himself as the one in control. Alexander on the other hand was more slim, but not skinny. Tall but not lanky. Innocent but not naive. His clothes appeared similar to his friends but presented more neatly and well put together. She assumed he felt sorry for his friend, knowing his Veela parentage would gain him lots of female attention, and in return Alexander simply allowed himself to get pushed around to boost his friends ego.

With a roll of his eyes Alexander practically confirmed her theory and Aria couldn't stop herself from laughing once more.

Knowing that while Rosalind and 'Braydon'; as he turned out to be, would not be returning any time soon, Aria and Alexander chose to occupy one of the booths and get to know a little bit about each other, where Alex truly confirmed all of Aria's suspicions.

Upon Braydon's return, he flashed his rather large biceps, kissing each one in turn as he flexed them, before letting out a hearty growl, presumably this was a display of male dominance among his kind. His kind being; douchebags.

With another roll of her eyes Aria bid farewell to the men, thanking Alexander once more for his heroic rescue.

"How about a date?" Alex called nervously as Aria had just about reached the door.

"I'm sorry?" She replies, caught off guard.

"A date, here, with me. What do you say?" Aria shook her head unable to look away from that damn charming smile of his.

"I'll agree to a few drinks." She clarified. "Just send me an owl, you know where I'll be." And with that she disappeared once more down the path to Hogwarts, the grey sky above all the while threatening to rain down on her.

Taglist: @ayamenimthiriel @lizlil​

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Breaking' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'Breaking'

"We both said that we were scared for the future and we realized that....our love was going to help to go through everything."

Chapter Summary : Yirina is filled with pain after her talk with Adler that ended into an fight and more she's staying captive, more she start to feel more broken...but she has to stay strong....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3200

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

------------------------------------------------------------------

Stitch was still for me an mysterious man despite the memories I had with him before and the voice he was taking each time there were an discussion showed how he was trying to put an scare into me and it did worked an little, feared by his presence and seeing him in his same clothes but when the talks were made, I was making him sure that it wasn' really working. Deeply inside of me, I know that I was hating Stitch long before everything and I still do, that was almost the only thing that me & Adler could really get along.

After his departure from my cell, it was better for me to get back to sleep and the only thing that I could do for hours was...to wait. He told me that my next test was going to happen in an day but nothing was there to help me pass the time, only looking deeply in each wall of my cell, struggling to not becoming crazy at each hour passed and to add to that, no one was coming here to make an talk or to make me move to do an test...no one was coming to talk....

It was mostly guards that were coming to bring me some things to eat & drink and that was it, they didn't wanted to talk to me and I was thinking the same thing. They were maybe knowing the story about me but I wasn't going to put an word out of my mouth to them. Time passed and finally, at the end of the day, the 6th of June, Stitch came in my cell...to tell me that my next step was reported to next day...meaning more waiting for me and more desperation to feel inside...only that.

The next day wasn't so much different except that all day, I was wondering what my 'next test' would be to be honest : was it going to be another talk with Adler ? were they going to confront me to someone of my real past ? I couldn't know and that was only intriguing me as the long hours passed until the door opened at, I presumed to be the moment of the test they are going to put me in.

"Are you ready for your next test, Bell ?" I looked up, sit on the edge of my bed to see Sonya themselves, standing up next to the door of my cell.

"I guess that I will not know until you're bring me to another place ?" I suggested, moving on the bed to put my back against the wall and they nodded to me.

"Stitch said that it's not necessary for you to know for the moment." They replied, joining their hands together.

"Stitch said an lot of things but he can't tell it to my face." I exclaimed, making an little laugh about it, watching Sonya carefully. "Why is he always sending someone else to do his work ?" I asked them clearly, my hands on my lap.

"Well, he said that....." They stopped themself, maybe realizing that they needed to change words to talk about their brother. "Stitch doesn't really want to create an bond with you because of things he told me." They added, looking outside the cell, it was just them here, not even Knight doing the 'taxi'

"He told you things that I never did." I said, still talking & sounding like Bell would do.

"He explained that you were the one to broke his arm." They spoke up, putting their hands behind them as in the inside, I was resisting the urge to make an smile on my face. "That...you were the 'Winter Soldier'." Instantly, the smile in the inside faded away by hearing those words.

"What is this name ? An joke ?" I scoffed around, faking to hate that name even if I was really hating it. "Who would call someone like that ?" I added.

"To be honest, I wouldn't never do that." They expressed, making an relieved breath.

"Why are you like that ?" I whispered almost loudly.

"Uhm ?" They muttered, looking back at me as they were having their eyes at the door.

"I said that I was wondering why you are like this with me ?" I repeated my question that was something we already talk about between us but I wanted to know again.

"Why are you asking ?" They asked me back, crossing their arms.

"The Sonya Kuzmin I met in that interrogation who was rude, agressive....." I stopped myself, taking an quick look at them like if I was scanning them. "Are they the same person right here, right now ?"

"It's not because I'm rude that I can't be gentle." They responded, taking an half-annoyed voice. "I have a soft side too, you know." They pointed above their chest, just at their heart level.

"I'm not doubting that, now." I exclaimed to them and my words seems to have touched them as they brough an little smile on their face. "Tell me, how did you & Wraith met ?" I demanded after an few seconds of silence.

"I don't know if I should tell you this." They breathed, taking an look at the camera at their left.

"Stitch did say that you shouldn't talk about things but if you want to open yourself, do it." I adviced them, remembering his words to them, 2 days ago.

"Aw shit." They muttered, looking down at their feets. "Me & her, we met when I first joined Perseus in 1980." They started, taking an deep breath before looking up at me. "I will not say that it was love at first sight but we did start to...be closer enough, she was looking deeply alone at that time." They continued as in me, I was rethinking about the last months of 1980....'deeply alone'....with me starting to dream away....

"You were like recomforting her." I chuckled and they nodded.

"Yeah but now since April, she's not looking the same, you see ?" I nodded to them, biting my upper lip as they were sounding an bit sad. "Distant, jump mood from time to time." They added.

"And you were always here." I whispered.

"It was looking that it wasn't really enough, like she wanted more than just me." They told me, seeing an tear on their face, coming out of their right eye. "She's looking deeply into you but each time I want to know, she's rebuffing me."

"It's no-sense." I rolled my eyes around the cell, faking to be disturbed by that thing. "It's something that has been disturbing me since the moments she kissed me."

"Wait, she kissed you ?" They were sounding stunned, curious to me, making me realize that I shouldn't have really talk about this...until I slowly nodded.

"I don't know why, must be because of the things about me, things that isn't real." I expressed, moving away from the bed to get up. "Guess they want me to tell them more in those test." I muttered as I handed over my hands, knowing the procedure to get out.

"Yes, they want that." They breathed before they took handcuffs in their hands. "Seems that you're ready now." They said after handcuffing me.

"Guess that I don't have any choices." I joked, gesturing with my handcuffed hands to them.

"Come on, let's get going." They ordered, going back before we walk outside my cell.

This time, it was just them that were going to escort me into the place that Stitch & Freya want me to pass their 'test' and by looking at it, it seems that I was getting in the same way to the room the first test happened with Adler, meaning that I was maybe going to talk with someone else or worst, Adler again. I asked an few times to Sonya but they wouldn't respond at all at my questions, guess I will have to found out to myself.

My doubts were confirmed when we arrived in front of the same door of that interrogation room where I fought with Adler but this time, no one was here to greet us, not even an guard. Sonya decided to handcuff me at this moment and even if I would try to do something, I couldn't do it, I don't know the place too much because I don't even know where are we and I don't know where is Park.

"Is she ready ?" I was surprised when I heard Stitch's voice coming in with Freya at his side, next to him.

"She is." Sonya replied to my place, still holding me at my shoulders in case of anything.

"Good, another talk will happen today, as you maybe thought about it." Freya told me in an clear voice, moving to get her hand on the door handle.

"Don't tell me that he's behind his door." I demanded, remembering them of that fight days ago.

"Well, we will see how she will react." Freya said in an neutral voice as she started to open that door to let me discover.....

"Park ?" I whispered very silently, making sure that no one was hearing me as I entered the room.

She was here...in front of me...sit on the same chair Adler used. In terms of clothes, she was also like me : only an simple shirt and the pants she used back in that mission. To say....we were both alike in terms of everything : almost broken in the inside, only wanting to escape. She was looking down at her boots before she slowly looked up to see me, arriving me in the room. It's been almost an week that I didn't see her.

"B-Be-Bell ?" She exclaimed as we both know that we had to play an act together now.

"My god, Park, you're okay ?" I asked, very worried, moving to get sit on the chair I used before.

"Yeah...Yeah, I'm trying to be okay." She replied, feeling the sadness in her voice as she put her arms on the table. "They didn't hurt you ?" She demanded and I shook my head.

"No...and you ?" I asked back.

"Same, they said that it wasn't going to be useful if they hurt us." She responded, moving my arms too on the table.

"They want us to believe in their stupid vision." I exclaimed, looking at the mirror in the room, knowing that the trio were behind it and Park was doing the same. "Did they talk with you ?"

"Only one was coming from time to time and it was that Sonya." She explained, looking back at me. "It seems that they weren't like that, that day."

"We all getting surprised by that in those days." I told her with an smile, winking at her, an gesture for us both to start an normal conversation despite the whole situation. "How do you feel ?"

"I was starting to think that I will never see you again." She answered, still an part of sadness in her voice as with her left hand, she was trying to reach my right one. "I'm like back in hell but not alone."

"I know." I snorted, passing my left hand below my nose. "We both been through hell, we know what it's like."

"Yeah, I never wanted to live that again." She muttered, tears falling out of her eyes as we finally reach both hands together.  "It's hard each day but there's still something that hold you to not doing the unthinkable." She smiled at me. "You're the person that hold me."

"Yes, me too." I smiled back at her, our eyes both looking at our joined hands. "Park, I'm afraid." I told her, my voice breaking down by saying these words. "I'm afraid to lose you, to....I don't want to die or having you or my friends hurt."

"I'm afraid too." She repeated with the same tone as me, both realizing that we were thinking of the same thing. "Remember that night in the New Orleans ?" She questioned me and I nodded.

"Yes." I breathed with an little grin.

"We both said that we were scared for the future and we realized that....our love was going to help to go through everything." She said, remembering the talk we add that night....I could remember that conversation...."I've been always thinking about this for an long, long time."

"I didn't want to lose you and you....only you understand my feelings in the MI6." I expressed my pain to her, mentioning my life to her in an few words. "You're the only person that I'm in love." I affirmed as an little smile was beginning to form on her lips, knowing that I was saying the truth to her...like I always did.

"Before, I was thinking at first who was this woman that is now in front of me and...." She stopped herself to take an deep breath. "I'm realizing that I've been in love with you since the start, since the moment I saw you in my life."

"He said that it was impossible but we showed him that he was wrong about us...about me." I told her, referring to Adler himself and she was knowing about who I was talking about. "I love you, Park, always has been." I admitted as we start to slowly got together, seeing tears in our both eyes before we could make an kiss....something that I've been missing since days....giving me some hope.

"I love you too." She whispered after we broke the kiss, forehead to forehead, our hand on each other's shoulders before we moved back at our seats as the door was getting opened.

"Time's up, the test is finished." I could hear Stitch's voice coming inside the room and I looked around to see the trio arriving...with Freya, looking almost angry....

"Okay, time to get you back to your cell." Sonya started as they moved to get next to me.

"No !" Freya suddenly spoke up loudly, stopping everyone in their moves. "The test isn't finished....not for me." She exclaimed, looking between me & Park.

"What it is about ?" I asked her in an curious voice.

"Shut up !" Freya slammed her fists on the table, scaring me at my highest point inside of me as everyone was confused here, even Stitch. "Attach her to the chair with her handcuffs, Sonya."  She ordered to them in an clear voice and Sonya was so scared that they complied in an second, attaching me to the chair armrests with two handcuffs.

"Wraith, what are you doing ?" Stitch demanded as even himself was curious.

"Tell me, Park." She ignored his question as her look was on Park herself, moving slowly towards her. "How long this has been going on ?" She questioned her before she decided to slap her in the face.

"Hey !" I protested, trying to move but Sonya put their hands on my shoulder, avoiding to move. "Don't touch her !" I ordered but that was useless.

"Answer me, bitch !" Freya put her hands on her neck, holding it and almost starting to strangle Park. "Answer or I'll make your scar bigger and deeper." She threatened, even taking out her own knife to show it.

"Wraith, if you touch her, I'll kill you myself !" I told her in an angry voice as Stitch had to move to help Sonya to hold me.

"You took her away from me." Freya snorted, sounding more sad than angry. "You broke her enough, you lied to her." She added as she decided to punch Park who wasn't responding at all to her.

"Fuck you." It was the only thing that did go out of Park's mouth, determined to not say anything.

"Answer !" Freya repeated loudly as she was going to move her knife next to Park's scar....

"Freya, stop !" I ordered, my voice getting to get more broken and hearing her name...make her stop in her moves. "Please...I'm begging you, don't hurt her." I continued, starting to feel more tears coming out of my eyes....I wasn't Bell anymore.

"What did you say ?" Freya asked in an low voice, turning around to face me.

"I want you...to stop....I know..." I stopped myself, my eyes filled with tears until I looked at her straight in the eyes. "I know since 3 years." I revealed, Park looking shocked, Freya getting the knife out of her hand that went limp as Sonya & Stitch was removing their hands from me.

"Yirina..." Park whispered in an low voice as the trio was realizing everything.

"You....you knew ?" Freya demanded and I slowly nodded, still crying out my whole pain.

"It's been 3 years that I know what happened to me." I said, trying to look away from her but I couldn't. "I know about everything." I added before looking down in shame of myself to have played an act.

"Sonya....Stitch...." Freya started to say, sounding shocked until her bones. "Get....get Park back to her cell, I'm taking Yirina to hers." She ordered in an almost broken voice as the two start to move to get Park up, she was looking sad to me, having seen break in the inside. "Get up !" Freya expressed as she was removing my handcuffs before she forced me to get back up to leave the room.

I was still crying when we left that room but this time, Freya wasn't wondering what just happened like before, she just realized....that I lied to her....that I was just playing an act the whole time. I was redoubting about that moment and it just happened here, right now and like I doubted it, I wasn't able to contain the tears inside of me...tears that was still on my face when we got back into my cell.

"Three years ?" Freya removed herself from me as she almost threw me away on the bed. "You know about everything this entire time ?"

"Yes." I breathed, slowly sitting on the bed, ashamed of myself. "They told me about it....days before they could stop Perseus to use Greenlight." I explained.

"And instead, you could have come back here." She snorted, tears on her eyes too.

"I couldn't, Freya !" I spoke up before looking down at my feets. "Adler left me for dead at Solovetsky, I spent 3 years in an fucking coma in Moscow." I pointed at my scar on my head to her, I was angry and crying. "And even, I wasn't going to come back."

"You...you were aware of it in those calls you made to me, each time we saw each other in real." She exclaimed, leaning herself back against the wall.

"It was breaking me in the inside each time." I put my hands on my laps, seeing them trembling. "You know why I wasn't telling the truth ?" I asked her. "I was afraid like I have as been."

"You could have come back to me." She repeated again, almost pleading me to do that.

"It wasn't an option for me, I hate myself for working with Perseus for years without opening my eyes." I affirmed to her, looking back at her, meaning the seriousness of my voice. "And...no, it wasn't an option." I said again.

"You betrayed what we were standing for, you betrayed his ideals, Yirina." She told me as I narrowed my eyes to her, wondering if she was really the good Freya that I knew before.

"You betrayed me !" I whispered in an very serious voice as I decided to get back to lay down on the bed, looking at the ceilling, thinking about the whole fucked up situation right now before looking back to her. "You stole things from me, I was like an sister to you and what did you do ?" I demanded as she looked down at her feets.....

"It was more important than Perseus but instead, you betrayed me !"

[kyutown]

Good evening my liege! 💖 I was intrigued to find out about you while diving deeper into tumblr hell so, I am here with a plead to ship me with nct and svt, of you'd be so kind ✨

Alright so for starters, I'm an infp! I'm a generally well-mannered person with people I meet for the first time, borderline sweet and awkward at the same time. I like not to overinvest in first meetings with people and sometimes I think I am somewhat defensive of myself. My emotions always show on my face, both the good and the bad ones. So if someone does say something that I find offensive or whatnot, it SHOWS. I generally hate rude and offensive people all together, as well as people who are vulgar if we're not well acquainted first.

I'm not good at starting conversations and I usually just tend to listen to my friends talk most of the time. It's not like I have nothing to say but I really like listening to my favorite people ramble on about things they love or generally talk about their lives. Im a pretty good listener and I am always objective, even with my family. I won't hold back and I will give you my honest opinion in every case. I always try to see from all perspectives, maybe that's why I'm often somewhat indecisive.

That being said, I really don't shut up about things I love or my hobbies. I'm usually the mood maker of the group as I hate conflict and tension. I am a very sarcastic and cynical person in general and that reflects on my humor, which can vary from vulgar to very dark and inappropriate. Yes, the type of person that will try to hold in their laughter cause I made a mental joke to a funeral. I love witty, stimulating and deep conversations. I'm not that big on casual chitchat but it's okay most of the time I guess.

I'm the personification of open-minded and im also quite opinionated and I can back up my arguments if needed but I tend to avoid getting into heated conversations cause again, my mind reads it as tension. I love being around friends doing nothing and everything but most of the time, I find alone time to be very healing for my mind and soul. I find authenticity and weird little quirks that people have extremely attractive. I'm somewhat stubborn as well.

I also used to have stress and anxiety issues, not anything serious but enough that I had trouble sleeping at night. It was just a few years ago that I decided to not care about every single thing and have a more of a "fuck that" approach in life and honestly, I've never imagined that it would be so liberating. I regained my confidence, physically and mentally, it was an empowering process! I really do believe that self-exploring and healing is the no1 most important thing that someone can do. Love yourself first and foremost and fck what anybody thinks.

So, moving on xD I am a romantic and soft deep down, even though I try not to show sad emotions when around people. But you can be sure I cry at random rescuing dog videos, or videos with people helping each other. I love humanity but hate it at the same time? 😂 Idk if that makes sense, it is what I feel lol I love to learn new random stuff! I'm currently studying linguistics and uni and I aim to be a translator or interpreter, cause i love languages and the cultural differences that come with it. Hence my undying love for music of different genres and languages! Music relaxes me and I couldn't imagine going on without it for more than 3 days. While I do tend to listen to kpop which is more upbeat and experimental, I also LOVE Latin music and rock. I love love traveling around the world! My hobbies include drawing which I'm self taught, fashion and creative writing! I tend to daydream A LOT during the day and so many ideas pop up in my head. I love exploring other cultures' religions and beliefs as well as mythology. I always found it fascinating. I love plants as well! My room is basically a garden xD I also love mystical but also borderline creepy and gory stuff xD I call skulls "pretty" the same way I would call a puppy "cute" 🤣 I'm aware οf that but I can't help but enjoy the look of horror in people's faces xD

oh, I really enjoy observing people as well! Not in a weird way! Their mannerisms, the way they speak, their features. I also love thriller and horror movies the most as well as dark social drama ones. You know, with murders, suicides etc I like how in even the tiniest ways they depict our society as people and frankly, it's sad but I try to be optimistic and keep a positive approach in life. I also really appreciate stand-up comedy xD

Closing up this huge essay, some last things xD I, and I cannot stress this enough, am unable to flirt. Like at all. I can't even maintain eye contact for more than two Seconds. I wish I was kidding. Sadly I'm not 😂Weird thing is, turns out I am actually able to flirt but I'm not aware I'm doing it?? I'm a master at text flirting apparently lololol. What I am, is also called DENSE AS SHIT when it comes to couple things. True story, if you want to do the freaky with your s/o and you need me to leave the room you better TELL ME RIGHT TO MY FACE or else, we gon be there aaaaall night xD And its actually a remarkable feature of mine, considering how dirty minded I usually am lol

I also think I'm touch starved sometimes, like I really like hugs and cuddling and teasing but I'm not gonna ask for it🥺I'm a night owl and I tend to procrastinate a lot. I can't work efficiently if there's not a deadline, like I need that pressure on me in order to function xD My weak spot is actually to act whiny and needy and cutely in front of me. I can do ANYTHING that u ask me of when this happens. And if I show any resistance, JUST KEEP IT UP. I'm jelly on the floor when this happens. Idfk why, it just works?? My sister is abusing the sht out of this method 😭I can't say I make friends easily, cause I believe I do come off as maybe off-putting or weird at times, plus as I said if you're really cant shove your conversation in my face the first time we meet, imma be just an awkward ball of giggles and smiles and "can I go home now pls" 🤣 My general aesthetic / vibes would be sunsets on beaches, soft grunge, cottage core, lofi and hedge witch aesthetics!

Okay so, I think that's everything and probably way more than u needed, so thank you for reading everything my stupid ass wrote❤️

hi! thank you for responding!

for nct, i think yuta would be a nice fit! yuta also likes rock as his favorite band is one ok rock which is a rock band. i feel like you guys would always listen to music (not always rock) and would enjoy making time go by like this!

for seventeen, i think you would match well with the8! the8 would be the type to enjoy exploring new cultures with you and new religions, he would also love to dress up with you and put together outfits with you!

[mtngirlforever]

Tyler Kennedy

Alright guys so here is my 1st Tarlos one shot. I haven't written anything in 2 years so I felt really rusty, but I couldn't quit writing. Please leave me your thoughts! I'll get it up on Ao3 in just a bit! 😘 I haven't posted in so long I no longer know how to do the keep reading line so someone wanna shoot a girl a line and help her out?? Until then sorry guys!

TK was a little pissy when his dad put Judd in charge of the call. Sure the dude was from Texas and was probably the most qualified for this, but he rubbed TK the wrong way most of the time. However, he was going to suck it up with some attitude until Marjan went down. No way was he losing a team member when he could reach her. He heard Judd's screams of no, but he didn't care. And really if he went down would it really matter? 

The rush he felt when he unclipped and reached for Marjan was the high he'd been missing. The adrenaline rush was powerful and left him feeling high like only the pills could. The corn was like quicksand, and by the time he had a good grip on Marjan, he was going down too. He sucked in a deep breath as he felt himself get separated from Marjan. The pressure around his chest was unbearable, but it was the first thing he'd really truly felt since the night Alex ruined his life. 

When he stumbled out into the light and took his first deep breath, it hurt but he was more worried about finding Marjan. It could've ended much worse, but they were all in one piece when they returned to the station. What he wasn't expecting was for Judd to blindside him when they got out of the rig. His chest was hurting and he was pretty sure it was just bruises, but he wasn't backing down from this confrontation. 

He didn't appreciate Judd's tone or the fact that he was insinuating TK only had a job because his dad was captain. Shoving Judd was his first instinct to let his anger out, and thankfully Judd was willing to fight back. It wasn't helping his ribs any, but at that moment he didn't care. 

After Paul separated them, he decided it was finally time to see Michelle. His chest was hurting with each really deep breath he took and he was sure it was just from the dive down the corn. He knocked on her office door glad to see his dad wasn't across the way. When he heard her call come in he opened and closed the door quietly. 

"TK what can I do for you?" Michelle asked giving him her full attention. 

"Just… uh.. needed to see if you got a second?" 

"Of course what's up?" 

TK made sure his dad hadn't come up before turning back to Michelle. "I think maybe the pressure in the silo was too much after all. It hurts with really deep breaths but I don't think anything's broke. And I… I don't wanna tell dad, and I can't…. I won't go to the hospital because I can't take anything they'd give me so can ya… can you just make sure its bruises?" 

"Yea come on. We can go to my bunk side. No one will know. And whatever you tell me will be in confidence." 

TK gave her a nod of thanks before following her out. Michelle gave him a quick once over and confirmed what he knew that it was just some bruising. She told him to take Tylenol if it was too painful since he appeared not to want anything stronger. He gave her a thanks before going out. Luckily shift was almost over and the rest of his shift was quite. 

That night despite still being angry at Judd, TK decided to stay in and rest. Across town, Carlos and Michelle were meeting up for beers at Carlos’s house. While he would love to help her find her sister, he was starting to lose hope. It had been three years, and no serious leads. He did think he’d gotten his point across by giving her the list of blue pickup trucks, and pointing out that Dustin did not own a blue truck. 

What he wasn’t fully prepared for was to spill his guts about TK. While he had missed their two-way street friendship, he’d initially been teasing. Until she turned serious and really wanted to know about his latest hookup. And truthfully, he didn’t know what to say because he really didn’t know anything about the guy. 

“I met someone, we hooked up, and then it got weird,” he said with a shrug. 

“Doesn’t it always,” she laughed. 

“No Michelle, it doesn’t always get weird,” he said exasperated. 

“So? Tell me about this boy," she relented. 

“You know him actually,” he said with a dramatic pause as she looked at him to continue. “TK Strand,” he said as she gasped at him. 

“Nice!” 

“Yea. He’s a ten and now I kinda can’t get him out of my head.” 

“So why don’t you ask him out?” 

“Oh no! He’d probably ghost me. I just hate being the one doing the chasing.” 

“Why? You’re the one with the handcuffs,” she joked as he rolled his eyes at her. “But speaking of, TK had an interesting day.” 

“Oh yea? How?” Carlos asked suddenly intrigued.

“You hear about the silo call?” At his nod Michelle continued; “Well, he decided to ignore Judd’s warnings and unclipped his line thinking he could save Marjan. They had to cut the side of the silo because he and Marjan got sucked down. So they went for a tumble. The pressure was too much for him and bruised his ribs. He came to me in confidence so I shouldn’t even be telling you, but just thought you’d wanna know, “ she winked. She could tell it was more than a hookup for Carlos and she had an idea TK needed someone in his corner so she didn't mind spilling what she knew.

Carlos let it roll over in his mind. TK ignored a direct order, and could’ve died had they not got the side cut soon enough. That did not sound promising after his freak out over a dinner. He let his thoughts tumble over each other as Michelle finished her beer and headed out for the night. Carlos ended up crashing on his couch, just managing to get enough sleep before his shift the next day. 

He was pulling a twelve hour shift starting at noon, and by the time it was getting late and getting close to him being off, he saw the one person he was not ready to see being lead into the station. Despite knowing he should distance himself, he couldn’t help it. He had to see what TK had done to be brought in in cuffs. 

He managed to get the officer that brought him in to leave him at Carlos’s desk, while Carlos went to find out what happened. When the other two wouldn’t talk and TK’s breathalyzer test was a 0.0, he decided he would be the one to cut him loose. He wanted to know why the guy he couldn’t get out of his head was suddenly on a suicide mission two days in a row. He saw TK hunched over his desk holding an ice pack to his eye. Had his hands been free, Carlos would bet his arm would be wrapped around his ribs. He knew they had to be killing him from the information Michelle had disclosed. 

The look on TK’s face when he sat down was honestly priceless. “Seriously?” he said with as much attitude as possible.

Carlos acted like it didn’t bother him; “Austin’s a small town TK; or should I say Tyler Kennedy.” TK grunted in response without looking up. “Bummer about getting arrested, people might find out your real name. Which marks the first actual thing I’ve learned about you.” 

Finally the ice pack drops, but the attitude doesn’t. “Isn’t you processing me like a conflict of interest or something?” 

“The good news is, neither of your new friends want to talk about that little scuffle tonight, and since you blew a 0.0, we’re not even giving you a drunk and disorderly. You’re free to go,” he says all this as he unlocks the cuffs. 

“What’s the bad news?” TK asks hesitantly. The no reaction and no questions from Carlos was making him nervous. 

“The bad news is that means you did this with a clear head.” TK won’t meet his eyes so he decides to push on. “I’m not trying to be your boyfriend or even your friend if you’re not into it,” he says while trying to catch TK’s eyes. He wants to make sure his point is getting across because he wants TK to know someone does care about him. “But you should talk to someone about why you felt compelled to do something so suicidal,” he pauses as TK finally meets his eyes; “two days in a row.” 

They have a brief stare down before TK reaches for the bag with his things. Carlos backs off, knowing he probably pushed too far, but he wants TK to know he’s not alone. When TK is still sitting there, he drops the box of tissues in front of him and goes back to the not bothered attitude. He’s not sure he wants TK to see how much he affects him. “Got a little crud by the way,” he says while pointing at his lip. 

He dropped the cuffs on his desk trying not to think about what Michelle had said. He tries to appear busy, but he can’t help but watch TK out of the corner of his eye. He's nowhere close to getting the dried blood off his lip. “Other side,” he said giving himself away and getting a look and a huff from TK. 

TK moves to the middle and sort of the other side, but he’s still not getting it. “Stop,” Carlos says exasperated. “Just let me.” He grabs a tissue and reaches over when TK moves back just a touch before his head stills. Carlos holds in his sigh and waits. When TK is still he reaches over and wipes the blood. It’s intimate and he shouldn’t get used to it because he knows TK will eventually bolt, but he can’t help but wish they could have more intimate moments. He can’t take his eyes off TK and thankfully TK is looking back. 

He’s almost positive his face is an open book of hurt and curiosity and desire, but he can’t seem to mask it. The things TK does to him is unbelievable. He gets a quiet “Thanks,” as he appears to go back to paperwork. He tries to stay focused and not move when TK leans in closer so just Carlos can hear him. And what comes next is definitely not what Carlos was expecting. 

“I’m sorry I went crazy on you the other night,” he says, and he sounds so sincere and upset about it. Carlos doesn’t want to let him know just how much it’d stung when he walked out the door so he decided to play it cool. 

“I’m a cop; I’m used to crazy.” He keeps working, but deep inside he’s absorbing everything and his stupid heart is doing flips. 

He sees TK try to find the words to go on when Carlos won’t look at him. He’s really trying here, trying like he hasn’t in a while. He’s not sure why he is, but that spark he had with Carlos was the most he’d felt until he dived down the silo and got in the fight. He didn’t want to give that up even if he’d acted like an ass the other night.

“Look I just went through a really bad breakup, like nuclear bad. And then I relapsed,” he says all the while never taking his eyes off Carlos. He wants Carlos to know he’s being as open as possible at the moment, and why he is the way he is. 

“You mean with me?” Carlos says again without even looking at TK.

“No,” TK says dropping his eyes at the same time Carlos cuts his eyes to look at him. TK finally has his attention, and he’s not sure how to handle it. He’s ashamed and embarrassed, and he really doesn’t want the hot cop he was hooking up with to know how bad he really is. He knows he’s a fuck up and his dad knows it, but he’s still not gotten comfortable with everyone else knowing just how much of a fuck up he really is. And that’s another reason Judd’s words hit close to home. At this point it really is because of his dad that he’s still a firefighter and still working, still here even. 

His eyes stay on the ground as he admits the truth. He’s come this far, he might as well lay it out there and let Carlos run free. No way he’s going to want anything to do with him after he knows most of the truth. “I mean with substances,” he says carefully. He can’t admit more than that at the moment, but he knows if Carlos was ever to stick around, he’d admit the full truth. But he knows that’s never a possibility. He’s debating running when Carlos finally speaks. 

“Right. Which explains your reaction to the champagne. I’m such an idiot. I’m-”

“No,” TK starts to interrupt, but Carlos continues, “I’m sorry,” he says as TK finishes his thought; “It’s fine okay?” He finally makes eye contact again before he continues not exactly sure where the word vomit is coming from. “I mean ever since I’ve gotten here it’s just…. It’s just gray, and I just feel numb all the time.” He pauses to decide how else to word it because he knows it’s going to sound bad, but he doesn’t have the words when he’s flayed open and raw. “I guess I just…. I wanted to feel something.” 

When Carlos just stares at him, he quickly grabs his things out of the bag and stands to make a run for it. He knew this was a bad idea opening himself up to someone else. No one could put up with his bratty attitude and fears and failures. As he turns the corner of the desk, Carlos speaks again, and it’s the last thing TK expected. 

“Judging by that lip, I’d say mission accomplished.” 

TK’s hand falls on the desk to prop himself up. His ribs are really killing him, his head is starting to pound, and he just laid most of his vulnerabilities out there and Carlos wants to bust his balls. He gives him his best go to hell look before speaking. “You really busting my balls right now?” he says in disbelief. 

“Yea suppose I am,” Carlos says with enough of a smirk that TK can’t stop his own smile from forming. TK goes to leave and Carlos lets him get a few steps down the hallway before he stops him. “I know you’re in pain, do you want to go to the hospital? My shift is over in another hour, but I could cut out early,” he says with a hand on TK’s arm. 

“Na. Don’t want what they’d give me anyways. Michelle told me to just take Tylenol.” While he’d love to give in to the offer and he knows it’d make him feel immensely better, he’s not going to disappoint his dad again. But it’s more than that now. He doesn’t want to let Carlos down, now that he knows the truth. 

“At least let me drive you home. You don’t have a car Tiger,” he says with a smirk. 

TK looks around before leaning into Carlos a little. “Yea… Yea that’d be fine. Long as you can leave.” He doesn’t want Carlos getting in trouble for him. 

“Yea. Just give me a few,” he says tossing TK’s jacket around his shoulders and leading him back to his desk. TK sits down wrapping an arm around his ribs as he hunched over a little. He couldn’t wait to get home and fall face first into bed. 

“Here,” Carlos said handing him two extra strength Tylenol and a bottle of water. “I’ll be ready in five. Just let me get my stuff.” TK offered him a nod and a smile before downing the pills. 

The ride through town was quiet. “Where to?” Carlos finally asked when he needed to turn one way or another. 

TK was biting his abused lip in thought. He didn’t want to go home and his dad see him this way, but he didn’t want to assume anything about going to Carlos’s. He’d caused him enough trouble tonight and laid way too much out there. A soft hand on his arm stopped the abuse his teeth were inflicting on his already abused lip. 

“You can come home with me if you want…. Tyler,” Carlos said quietly. His actual name rolling off those sexy lips sent a shiver down his spine. No one had called him that in a really long time.

“Don’t want to put you out or cause you more trouble,” TK said quietly. 

Carlos reached over and grabbed his chin, turning TK to look at him. “I meant it when I said I wouldn’t be anything you’re not comfortable with, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t gladly be whatever you wanted or needed.”

“Just to sleep. Got shift in the morning,” TK said after a small pause. He wasn't up to anything more tonight, not with the pain he was in.

“Just to sleep,” Carlos smiled before turning for home. 

Once home, Carlos went to shower, after laying out a pair of sweats and clean shirt for TK. TK settled in bed while Carlos was in the shower. He was suddenly so exhausted and he knew he needed as much sleep as possible before shift. He wasn’t sure how he’d explain away the black eye and split lip to his dad just yet, but he’d figure something out. Carlos’s bed was so comfortable that he was asleep before Carlos was out of the shower. 

The next morning when his alarm went off, TK let out a groan. “There’s a shirt on the dresser. Keep the sweats,” Carlos mumbled sleepily. 

“Thanks,” TK whispered before rolling over and giving Carlos a searing kiss. His ribs protested the held breath, but he couldn’t resist kissing the hottest guy that made him feel something other than numb and that had taken care of him when he needed it.

“Go out with me tonight?” Carlos mumbled sleepily. Stupid Michelle and her stupid advice he thought, when TK paused getting up. “Just darts at the bar,” Carlos said as an afterthought. “Nothing fancy.. Just whatever…” 

“Yea,” TK interrupted. “Yea. Sure. Shift’s over at eight. It’s a date.” 

“It’s a date Tyler Kennedy,” Carlos smiled before shutting his eyes again at TK’s groan. He had a feeling Carlos would not be letting the full name go anytime soon now that he knew it.

Shift drug by, and his anger with Judd returned tenfold when he saw him again. By the time he was off shift, he wasn’t sure he would be much fun, but he wasn’t bailing. He downed two more Tylenol before heading to the bar where Carlos was already waiting. After ordering his mineral water, he joined Carlos over at the dart board. 

It wasn’t but a few minutes and Judd and Grace joined the crowd at the bar, and TK’s mood soured. He started ranting about Judd and where he got off on his high horse for a solid twenty minutes. His aim is off because he’s letting his anger fuel his throws. Carlos throws as he keeps ranting, and TK turns to get the darts. 

“You know if I was a less secure man, I might be bothered by the fact that I worked up the nerve to ask you out, and you’ve spent the entire night talking about another guy,” Carlos teases. And it’s clear in his voice he’s giving TK a hard time. 

“Well it pisses me off,” TK says as if it’s not obvious. 

“I noticed,” Carlos smirks thinking of all the ways they could work his anger out of him. TK hands the darts back to him, and Carlos can’t help but call him out on his brattiness. “Guess he hit a nerve,” he says before throwing again. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” TK asks as if he doesn't know. 

“Nothing,” Carlos says before going one step further. “Just seems like nobody’s ever spoken to you that way before.”

“You think he’s right?” TK asks disbelieving.

Carlos finishes throwing the darts before answering him, letting TK work it out for himself. “Do you?” he asks TK when TK pulls the darts out of the board. 

TK lets out a deep breath deciding on what to say. Instead of continuing the argument, he decides to go with something he hopes is threatening enough to get Carlos to drop it. “You know I’m holding a dart.” 

“And I’m packing a piece,” Carlos says with a straight face and without missing a beat. 

TK thinks of something smart to say back, but the only thing coming to mind is how hot Carlos looks in that moment. “That’s hot,” he finally spits out.  Needless to say that was the last round of darts and they were leaving. TK’s ribs were still sore enough that anything more than cuddling and making out in bed was out of the question. But for once, TK was ok with it. Carlos cared; he was still there even though he knew TK was a fuck up; he didn’t put up with his shit, and he let him just be. Since moving to Austin, he finally felt like he was truly going to be ok and wouldn’t be numb forever. 

“Sleep Tyler Kennedy,” he heard whispered in his hair as he drifted off feeling safe and truly cared for. 

[nad-zeta]

Match up ~(˘▾˘~)

Hi hi, anon! ❤🥰🦋Here is ya matchup dear! Sorry for the loooong wait! 🌻☺Hehe, honestly, life has just been so busy lately! 😱🙈Anyways thank you so much for the request, and I hope you have a super good day❤🦋🙌! 

So at first, I was thinking Ieyasu, but then after I continued to read on, I couldn't help but think that his sneki boi would be perfect for you.

So I match you with............... Mitsuhide

The first time you come face to face with Mitsuhide he is absolutely captivated by your ocean blue eyes. After you were named as a princess of the Oda forces, you took a seat opposite Mitsuhide who couldn't take his eyes off you. Everything about your intrigued the man, from your shy demeanour, to your standoffish vibes. However one look into those ocean blue eyes had this fox thinking there was more to you than just that reserved demeanor you showed the world. He decided to test his theory after war council ended, and started teasing you mercilessly alongside Masamune. Honestly your reaction was better than anything he ever could have hope for.

Away your shy demeanour melted and to the surface came a witty confident woman. He was absolutely captivated, it was not often that he could find someone who could keep up with his witty banter. And so having captured this kitsune’s attention, he started pestering you more and more every day. 

He would often sneak up behind you while you are reading and give you a fright. Of course, this would usually lead to a witty battle between the two of you. 

Mitushide loved your sense of humour, he honestly couldn't get enough of it. Your jokes would truly always leave this man in stitches with laughter. And you had come to quickly befriend this sneki boi. Even though you hate to admit it, you really enjoyed his company. He would often make time during the day to come and see you, even if it was for a quick five-minute chat. These chats and little visits had become part of his daily routine, and he found himself waking up every morning excited to visit you. Sometimes he would take you out to a teahouse for tea, while other times he would visit your room with a bag of candy as you make the two of you some tea. These little chats would last for hours and hours as you have come to realize that despite appearances, Mitsuhide is an incredibly intelligent man. You loved to pick his brain about all sorts of topics, learning as much as you could from this sneki boi.

You especially loved to sit and rant about anything and everything with Mitsuhide. You would legit show up at his manor, unannounced, plonk yourself down and start ranting about some horrible maid or about Hideyoshi that was babying you too much. Mitsuhide honestly loved it when you would just sit down in his room and start opening up to him about your horrible day. He would always make the two of you some tea and listen to your every worry and thought. He would often offer you a little head pat as comfort, as he secretly plots, how to make all your troubles disappear.

One day as you were peacefully sipping on some tea in Mitsuhide’s manor, two assassins burst through the ceiling and drew their weapons. You were honestly so shocked, as seconds ago you were busy joking around with Mitsu and now these random men were in his room with the intent to kill Mitsu, and kidnap you. You acted on instinct. You spotted Mitsuhide's rifle leaning against his desk, and before you knew it, you had it loaded and aimed at the attackers. Mitsuhide’s eyes gleamed in delight, and he couldn't help but fall more in love with you. Naturally, he disarmed the assassin and put them in the dungeon. However since discovering your talent for shooting guns, the two of you would occasionally go to fields to have shoot-offs and hone your skills. He absolutely loved that you could shoot, as it gave the two of you another thing to talk about.

Honestly, the more time this boy spent with you, the deeper and deeper he fell in love. 

He loves your blunt no filter personality. He loves that you can pretty much sum up a person just by taking a glance at them, and he loves that you have to research a topic that interests you and won't stop until you have found out every single little thing about that topic. Naturally, at this point, he can't ignore his feeling for you any longer, so he decides to confess them to you.

He knows from your various conversations that you have a hard time opening up to people as you are afraid that they are going to leave you. So he decided to make a grand gesture, one that proves that he is yours forever and that he would never leave your side. 

He invited you over for dinner that night *cough which Masamune made cough* and tells you the story of a kitsune and their precious ball. He told you that whoever possesses the kitsune’s star ball, has the power to command the kitsune and that that kitsune will be bound to serve them forever. He then smiled his sneaky smile at you and handed you a gift. 

You eyed it curiously and opened it. Your eyes widened in shock the second they glanced over the gift. It was a beautiful blue crystal orb that seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. He smiled and told you that Nobunaga had found the sphere during one of his travels and gifted it to Mitsuhide as a joke. But he was now giving it to you, as a declaration of his love for you and as a way of saying that he would never leave you.

Since that day, you and the kitsune were joined by the hip. He was the yin to your yang, and the two of you complimented each other perfectly. Not many know this, but Mitsuhide is incredibly ruled by his emotions, especially when it comes to you. He has a rather high empathy level, and sometimes he can let his emotions run away from him, especially if someone is threatening you. 

At times the two of you may not see eye to eye, as you are a very realistic person who is guided by logic rather than emotion. However, the two of you are able to learn from each other, and balance each other out. As each of you are able to offer the other, a valuable differing perspective on the things in front of you. Together you help each other learn and grow and to become better people.

Mitsuhide knows you hate being vulnerable and will never cry in public or around anyone for that matter, so he will make sure to be there for you whenever you need comforting. If you are feeling vulnerable or on the verge of a panic attack, he will sweep you up in a warm embrace and hide you from the rest of the world, as he helps you to get your breathing and focus under control. He will be there throughout all your panic attacks, softly whispering words of encouragement while holding your hand and tracing soothing circles on your back. And you best be sure he will hunt down anyone who dares cause the love of his life to cry!

He absolutely loves that you get flustered at little romantic acts like a kiss on the cheek or brush of the shoulder. This man lives to tease so; naturally, he will tease you mercilessly just to see you get super flustered. He knows you have a strong dislike for PDA so he will keep the heavy teasing for when the two of you cuties are out of public. However be warned he will insist on holding your hand when the two of you go out, cause let's face it he doesn't want anyone to get any idea about stealing the love of his life away, from right under his nose.

Mitsuhide loves that you are a reliable pillar in his life that he can lean on when things get too tough. You are always there to support him through his darkest moments and lend him a friendly ear. Loves it when you help him with his work when he gets overloaded or cooks him food when you notice that he hasn't eaten for a few days. 

He will always be sure to cherish every meal you make him and every act of service you bestow upon him. He, like you, is also not very verbal with his affections instead, choosing to show you how he feels via action. He doesn't need you to tell him you love him as he can see it in your eyes and through every action.

Loves to spend hours with you in his arms. His absolute favourite is to sit behind you while wrapping you in his strong arms, with his chin propped up onto your shoulder as he watches you draw. Loves to just spend quality time with you, even if neither of you are talking.

If you want to make his heart melt into a puddle, let him rest his head on your lap and pull your fingers through his hair, while you read a piece of your newest writing to him. He will legit close his eyes and relish in the sound of your soft, soothing voice, and feeling of your gentle fingers playing with his hair. It's during these times that Mitsuhide completely lets his guard down and allows himself to relax.

Otherwise, the two of you lovebirds are usually found spending a peaceful afternoon in each other's arms. If you have had a long day Mitsu will insist on holding you while he pulling his fingers through the soft strands of your beautiful hair, as you tell him all about your day. He could honestly sit for hours and hours with you in his arms as he plays with your gorgeous hair.

Other potential matches…………… Ieyasu

I hope you have a super good day dear and I hope you enjoyed this! ❤🌻☺

[80s-roger]

Not On My Watch (pt 5)

Pairing: Dad!Roger x Mum!Reader

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with roger had its ups and downs but laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and easter vacations. On summers he has the right to be with her for two weeks.

check: masterlist // dialogue prompts

If you haven't read the previous chapters, here they are: part one // part two // part three // part four

note: it wasn’t supposed to be this specific plot, but I promise you the good one is at next one ;)

warnings: flashback scenes, angst, fluff

words: 2,849

taglist: @madeinheavxn​ @namelesslosers​ @stacymaytaylor​ (send me an ask or a message if you want to be tagged)

You set the table, eating like a proper family for the first time in two and a half years. Laura was extremely happy seeing her family reunited. You were telling her stories from the past, which she found intriguing and interesting. You didn't forget mentioning about Roger taking you with him on tour in the United States, a year after started dating. It was the first time you went abroad. You fell for Roger hard. Losing him made you lose yourself too.

"Wow mum, you never told me stories with dad. Fairytales are boring." She gasped after hearing your US experience.

"Why didn't you tell her stories about us?" Roger curiously asked.

"Because at the time, our marriage was going downhill. You know, so I tried to not think of you." You answered.

"Oh.." he didn't have to say something. "So Laura, do you want to hear another story of mum and me?" He asked. Meanwhile, you prepared the dishes for the washing machine. Laura nodded, waiting for the narration.

Flashback

"So you're going out with Kath's friend?" Brian asked Roger.

"Yes," Roger answered while fixing himself at the mirror. "So Kath is your new girlfriend? I thought she was a groupie." He joked.

"Haha, very funny." Brian mocked him. "She's a nice company." He added.

"What about the bone zone?" The blond drummer pondered with a naughty smile on his face.

"That's good too, I don't complain." He shared a laugh with his friend. "So where will you meet her?" He questioned.

"Outside of the pub we met." He answered. "Where should I take her?" Roger nervously asked as if he never went on a date.

"Where do you take most of the girls you like?" Brian asked trying to help him think rationally.

"Bed?" He said back and gained an eye roll from Brian. "But Y/N is so hard to get, I don't know. I'm afraid if I say something wrong she'll lose interest in any second." He mumbled.

"Easy Rog.." Brian tried to calm his friend down. "She agreed to go on a date with you, that's progress, right?" He continued. Roger nodded. "Which means she finds you cute or hot or I don't know how girls describe us." He chuckled at the end making the blond drummer laugh.

"Alright, maybe if I take her to some other pub where we can talk?" Roger thought again.

"Excellent. She's not like the other girls you date, Roger. She's, you know, -" Brian tried to explain what type of girl you are.

"The I-want-the-man-to-chase-me. She's screaming that." Roger described what girl you are and he was right. "It was so hard for me to get to talk with her after our gig ended, I'm even surprised she finally agreed." He added, now wearing his perfume, ready to meet you.

"She likes you, pal. Good luck!" Brian hugged his friend and Roger was on his way to meet you.

You were nervous too. You didn't want to be late. You were used to never arriving on time, but this time, it was a date with a man you liked from the first moment, as much as you denied it. There wouldn't be any other second chance with him, he'd become a famous rockstar.

"There you are!" Roger spotted you coming faster to his place.

"Shit, am I late?" You asked, checking your watch.

"No, no, I just arrived." He was waiting for you, for about ten minutes. But he came at the checkpoint a little earlier due to impatience seeing you.

"Alright then." You stopped a little to catch your breath. Your high heels hurt your feet by walking so fast. But you wanted to look beautiful. The blue dress you were wearing had Roger staring at it and you all the time.

"You look so beautiful Y/N." He gasped as he was checking you out. "Nice dress, nice heels, nice hair, nice you." He ended the compliment with a hand kiss. He really wanted you to catch feelings for him.

"Thank you, Roger." You smiled after receiving his kiss and his compliments. "Where can we go?" You asked.

"There's another pub downtown that plays jazz music and we can talk without shouting." He joked and gently grabbed your hand, opened the door for you and placed you inside.

"Oh, I like jazz." You were surprised that he was probably into jazz. You waited for him to get into his red Renault car.

"Perfect, let's go." He started the engine and nervousness hit your body. You were shaking, feeling like throwing up. A handsome guy next to you, an upcoming legend wants to go on a date with you. "Hey, are you alright?" He asked after stopping at the red traffic light. He checked your hands trembling and gently placed his on yours. "You're not cold, are you?" He asked. You can't be cold on a May night.

"No, I'm just a little nervous." You tried to keep smiling. You're not the tough girl he met a couple of days ago, but a vulnerable nineteen-year-old girl trying to find love.

Roger was feeling split: He had two options in his head. Should he take you to the pub you both agreed or somewhere isolated to talk with no one seeing. That would make you feel more uncomfortable.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked waiting for any answer. "You want me to keep driving or stop somewhere? I promise I won't do anything." He shared his ideas with you. You looked at him confused.

"Could you stop somewhere, please?" You politely asked trying to not sound bitter after your sudden mood.

"Sure, are you alright?" He asked again, trying to find any isolated place for you two.

"Yes, it happens a lot when I'm feeling nervous." You explained.

He didn't say a word. Until he found that place, behind a church, with no soul around. It seemed creepy if you consider you are on the car with a man you met a week ago. But you liked him.

"Listen, if you are feeling nervous, we can call it off." He showed empathy at you feeling awkward.

"No, I won't have another chance with you if we call it off." You got out of the car, trying to get some air. Roger followed your moves, now standing behind you.

"What do you mean?" He asked raising his hands.

"I mean you'll become famous and everything that goes with it and you'll forget about me anyways." You tried to explain.

"Why would I forget you? I like you." He straightforwardly said, sending you shivers.

"I like you too, but I don't want me to love you."  You are a person full of emotions, throwing that to Roger made him feel weird.

"Why are you talking about love? This is a date, not a wedding." He objected.

"Exactly, I'm afraid if we become a girlfriend-boyfriend thing, I'll eventually love you and then things will get nasty." You could look years away. Look at you now.

"Are you nuts? I wanted to get to know you, I want to know you well, be my girlfriend, how do we call these things?" He questioned.

"Relationship." You answered turning around, to face him. "Would you like that? I wanted that for years." You asked trying to hide your desperation. But you couldn't.

"Hold on, you never had a relationship?" He asked confused, coming closer to you.

"Don't make fun of that, I never liked the boys who approached me." You admitted. You could see his eyes, sparkling from excitement because he knew now how inexperienced you were on that part. A hopeless romantic with huge fantasy.

"Well, I'd like to be the one." He smirked and grabbed his hands around your waist, pulled you into his arms and kissed your lips. Your first kiss ever. His lips harmoniously moved onto yours giving them what they needed all this time. Tenderness. "How was that?" He asked, his eyes now focused on yours.

"Amazing." You licked your lips and smiled, not feeling nervous anymore.

"Is the pub still a plan?" He asked.

"Yes." You were so hyped after your kiss you couldn't focus on anything besides Roger. His hand caught yours leading you back to his car.

Flashback ended.

"Wow, mum!" She turned to your place. "Dad was your first kiss?" She asked fully awed by the narration.

"Yes, he was." You blushed as you both looked at each other. He was fluttered by your current reaction. Your first everything.

"Oh dad, tell me more!" She begged for more stories, but it was time to leave.

"No young lady, I need to have some other memories between your mum and me." He playfully berated her. "Besides, we have to take you to Laura." You stood up from the chairs and moved towards the hall, wearing your shoes.

"Mum, will you tell me these stories instead of fairytales?' She asked while Roger helped her once more with tying her shoes.

"Yes, I will." You answered. You wanted to tell her stories about you and her father, but most of these are explicit. Not special for children.

-------------------------------------

Roger drove off to John's house to leave Laura. "I'll take her inside." He declared and you stayed in the car to wait.

"Daddy, what about my stuff?" She asked.

"We're going to mum's place now to take your stuff. We'll come again." He rubbed her head before knocking the door.

"Hey Roger, I was waiting for you now." He smiled at his bandmate and turned his gaze to Laura. "Hello, Laura! The other Laura waits for you inside! Come in!" He kissed her head.

"Bye, daddy!" She hugged him and walked inside the house.

"I'll come back again to bring her clothes and tomorrow's books for school," Roger said.

"Sure. I'm waiting for the details tomorrow." John winked.

"Ah, I see where you're getting with that." Roger laughed. "Just the abstract." He joked and left the grand house to come back to you.

"You have the keys to your apartment?" Roger asked you.

"Yes. And a piper spray for any case." You showed him that, referring to R/N who could wait for you around the corner.

"He won't harm you, over my dead body." He reassured you and placed a kiss on your forehead. "Shall we go?" He asked and you nodded.

There wasn't any talk during the car drive, but that didn't make it awkward. It was a peaceful silence you used to have before the dark days arrived. You couldn't hide your fear though, it was visible. Your hands were rubbing your thighs nervously. Roger, noticed your behaviour and placed his hand on yours. "It's going to be alright. That's why I'm here, with you." He placed his head on yours, giving you a reassuring kiss. You hugged him in return, feeling his scent against your senses. He smelled amazing. His perfume combined with nicotine was what you could characterize him.

You opened your apartment's door, seeing the inside of the house upside down. You knew he would fuck it up. All you could think of was who's going to clean this mess?

"Oh God-" you gasped and closed the door behind you.

"Y/N, don't worry we'll fix this mess together." He reassured you. "Do you think he did it on purpose?" He asked trying to figure out what was R/N's intent.

"Shit." You gasped again, looking at your ex-husband horrified.

"What?" He asked after seeing you turning pale.

"FUCK." You yelled, running to Laura's bedroom, looking for your diary. He knew about it.

You searched for it at the place you're hiding it and thanked your lucky stars it was up there inside the pillows you keep at the closet. "Oh God, oh God, thank you!" You stared above, kicking out all your angst while holding your huge notebook. It was clever of you to hide something personal at your daughter's room, in a cupboard she never uses. Roger followed you and sat next to you.

"Y/N, you alright?" He asked placing his hand at your back. His eyes fell at the notebook you were tightly holding. "What's this?" He curiously asked and tried to hold it but you politely refused. "Oh. Is it personal?" He questioned.

"I was keeping a diary all this time." You confessed.

"A diary? How long?" He asked as he was checking all these used pages.

"Before you." You smiled and scrolled a few of your pages.

"Wow, that's a lot..." he was amused. "So I guess I'm in there, aren't I?" He asked checking for assurance.

"Don't guess. Be sure." You smiled.

"Can I see just one page please?" He politely asked.

"I'll show you my favourite." You seemed too excited to get to a specific page.

Roger next to you was smiling through the entire process, trying to read while pages were fastly zapping, until you stopped somewhere from the first twenty pages. He focused on your point of view, trying to understand what you were writing about.

"Oh, your first time." He awed. After reading the sentence: my heart was beating so fast at the moment he was inside me, even my soul could see his, from our eyes. "I didn't know you were so sentimental about it." His cheeks blushed from everything you wrote.

"Of course I was, it was my first time. I loved you, Roger." You opened your heart to him for one more time. His eyes were wide opened. It was the first time he got to hear from you how you really felt about your first time. He continued reading to the next day, how you behaved after your first time.

It had to happen right? Or not? My parents are going to kill me. It should have happened after marriage. That's what they've been saying all my life. I love Roger but he would never settle for a wedding. He's a rockstar now, he would probably abandon me if I ask him to marry me. I have to keep it a secret.

"Y/N, you never told me that your parents are against sex before the wedding." He was shocked at what you were writing.

"I know, I had to do it, otherwise you'd break up with me. I didn't want that at the time." You said feeling secure now that he's still by your side.

"Oh, baby..." he whispered and kept you in his arms. "Was it too important to your family to keep your virginity?" He asked.

"It was for them to keep it until my wedding night." You started. "But you know? I only wanted to give it to the man I loved so bad one summer night. And it was special for me, you made it all about me." You continued and stayed in his arms for a couple of minutes. "They always believed my first time was at our wedding."

"I think you have to take this with you. It's not safe on its own. We should grab Laura's stuff and drive them off to John's." You both stood up and put your daughter's stuff in a bag.

You got in the car again, still silent. You were just reading random pages from your diary, getting all emotional. From you meeting him, dating him, marrying him, giving birth to his child, divorcing him... You wrote many things in there. It has an emotional value. You knew by now that Roger was the only person you wouldn't bother reading it, after your permission of course, because almost every page has his name on it.

---------------------

After giving Laura her stuff, you went back to Roger's fancy house. You were getting used to getting there. He looked like wanting to stay with you again, without including the disagreements. He opened the door and you both walked upstairs, leading to his bedroom.

"Do you think you should stay here now?" He asked.

"Why?" You returned as you placed your diary at the nightstand.

"That asshole could come to your place, any moment. You're not safe." He explained. "Maybe you should stay here. With me." He came closer to you, his face inches away from yours. You didn't say anything. Just let him do all the work for you.

His kiss was deep and his hands couldn't restrict themselves from touching your waist. These couple of days, you are much closer than you were when your marriage went downhill. You wanted to give it a chance.

"Tonight, I want you to be loud. I missed that." He stated, looking you into your eyes.

"Loud?" You asked, trying to understand his motives.

"Really loud. This is why Laura isn't here." He winked and left his room, going to the bathroom to take a shower.

"You're the filthiest man I know!" You playfully yelled at him.

"Oh, I know love!" He loudly answered from the bathroom and so on, you went downstairs to fix two glasses of red wine. Chilling situations like these, haven't happened since Laura was a baby.